William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Catholic Stayed I

    William K. Wolfrum released this statement to his supporters at 3 p.m.

    "Having seen the love and admiration pouring from Conservative circles following Newt Gingrich's conversion to Catholicism, I feel it is time for me to come forward with an admission - I am a Catholic. And I always have been.

    Larry Jankens's picture

    George W. Bush's New Gig

    We all assumed that George W. Bush would spend the rest of his days clearing brush from his ranch in Crawford, Texas - much the way he spent his presidency.  But because of global warming there is a world wide brush shortage and W has had to find other things to occupy his time.  What you ask?  I'm so glad you asked 'cause it's hilarious - he's become a motivational speaker!

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    Larry Jankens's picture

    VIDEO: Glenn Beck says volunteering is a communist conspiracy, and other observations

    Glenn Beck, America's favorite blathering talk show host, takes the time to discuss the evils of volunteerism.  No, that's not a typo, in a painful 6 minutes he points out that Hollywood, the Obama Administration, and the media are trying to make people "work for free" by encouraging them to volunteer.  He then points to Chairman Mao, who is in studio btw, and comments on how the push to get Americans volunteering is communist. 

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    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Balloon Hoax Update: Everyone but Fox News prepares to surrender

    FORT COLLINS, Colo. — The parents accused of concocting a publicity stunt by pretending their young son had climbed aboard a homemade helium balloon and was hurtling through the Colorado skies will surrender to the authorities as soon as charges are filed, the lawyer for the father said Monday.

    Larry Jankens's picture

    Dr. WHO Says No Alcohol For You

     

    In interest of full disclosure, I love to drink.  I am in no way an unbiased party when discussing alcohol and alcohol consumption.  Happy hour is not just a phrase, it’s the happiest hour of my day.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Oprah Winfrey kills three, injures 21

    While I find it difficult to dislike Oprah Winfrey overall, her love of pseudoscience has often grated and seemed dangerous. And now, Oprah’s love of pseudoscience has killed three people and left nearly two dozen others needing serious medical help. And that’s a little more serious.

    Self-help expert and author James Arthur Ray had rented the Angel Valley Retreat Center for his five-day “Spiritual Warrior” event that culminated in a sweat lodge ceremony.

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    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Patriots! Enter the Militia Members' Music Contest and Get Rocked!

    Militia men get rocked

    Are you a patriotic militia member that’s fighting Barack Obama’s illegal communist regime that’s forcing the U.S. into a tyrannical New World Order that will enslave us all? Are you in a band?

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Everything bought since 2001 recalled; everyone's personal data lost

    WASHINGTON — In a press conference by the nation’s business leaders and a smattering of government officials, it was announced that everything bought over the past seven years has been immediately recalled, and that all personal information held by all businesses had been lost.

    Doctor Cleveland's picture

    Sports Are Serious

    So last Sunday I was thinking: could Chris Berman be a political talking head in this country? And would he be any worse than the natterers on cable news, or the morning shows? I mean, Berman is clearly a silly and shallow blowhard, but that never stopped Tim Russert.

    My suspicion, fully borne out this week by l'affaire Limbaugh, is that sports are treated far more seriously in this country than politics are, especially by our media. That a comment on the state of our political press and on our national priorities.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Persecution Politics: Paranoia Rules the Right

    In early August, I began working on a book to document a growing sense of paranoia among right-wing conservatives. At the time, the media was fairly quiet on the subject. With the exception of liberal blogs (ahem), no one paid much attention to the wild rhetoric of the tea parties and occasional paranoid outbursts from commentators like Rush Limbaugh and politicians like Michelle Bachman.

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    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Timmy Johnson, 4, named COO of SEC enforcement division

    TUPELO, Miss. — It was a day of happiness at the Johnson household today, as youngest son Timmy, 4, was named chief operating officer of the SEC enforcement division.

    “We always knew Timmy would do great things,” said his mother, Sandra Johnson. “He’s always been really good with numbers.”

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Official Who Denies Interracial Marriage Lets Black People Use His Bathroom

    Just because Louisiana Justice of the Peace Keith Bardwell refuses to let interracial couples marry doesn't mean that he's a racist. He just doesn't believe in "mixing the races that way," which raises the question, in what way does he believe in mixing the races? Native American-Tibetan? They both have a brownish hue and wear colorful traditional costumes, so maybe that's OK. Or perhaps he means that the races can mix in other ways. They can be bridge partners, for instance.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Out-of-control Weather Balloon flies across nation - GOP claims their Health Insurance Reform plans are inside

    FORT COLLINS, Colo. — A homemade helium weather balloon got loose from the Republican National Committee headquarters today, leading authorities on a cross-country chase after Republicans insisted that their plans for health care reform were on board.

    “All of our plans, like tort reform, just took off and flew away,” said RNC Chairman Michael Steele. “I don’t know how they got in there, but our plans are now up in the air. Including tort reform.”

    Larry Jankens's picture

    iPhone Republican App

    Love your iPhone?  Love political snark? I've got the video for you.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    The Heretic's Bible - Genesis 20: Abraham pimps his wife, again

    Abraham the wandering Jew moved south again to the Negev, where he frequently visited the city of Gerar in the land of the Philistines.

    Commentary: The Great Rabbi Ezekiel Bezekiel has written, "The Torah does not say why Abraham visited Gerar, but doubtless it was for a holy purpose known to God." Holy purpose my hairy Hebrew hiney. Read on, friends, read on.

    Larry Jankens's picture

    America Loves Bacon and Bacon Related Products

    We all love bacon, that’s not to dispute, but has this country gone overboard in it’s zeal for bacon?  I asked the almighty Google and the answer was a resounding yes in the form of the amazing amount of bacon related products that are available.  Below are just a few pictures of images found when one googles “bacon.”
     

    Where I’m from “bacon briefcase,” has a different meaning.
     

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    I denounce “Liberal” Martin Eisenstadt and his new book!

    Throughout my long and inglorious writing career, I have always held true to the concept that money, fame, and recognition was always secondary. Good work has always been its own reward. These words I have lived by. But no more.

    Larry Jankens's picture

    Come on Baby Light My Ire: Jim Morrison's Ghost is Real!

     

    According to a new book entitled Ghosts Caught on Film 2, a photograph taken in front of Jim Morrison’s tomb in Paris shows the ghost of Jim Morrison; you can tell it’s him be cause the ghost looks sexy and brooding.   Predictably, paranormal websites are treating this photo as proof of the existence of ghosts. Equally predictably, this raises my ire.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    BREAKING: Obama Wins More Prizes

    While President Obama's recent Nobel Peace Prize has been attracting media attention, he has been quietly reaping a number of other prizes, including the New York Marathon, the Heisman Trophy, Best Cooking Blog, Sikh Man of the Year, and West Duluth High School's Most Likely to Succeed.

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