Cleveland: Keeping Christmas at Home
Ramona: The War on Happy Holidays
Michael Maiello (also known as "Destor23") is a New York based columnist, performer, fiction author and playwright. He is the author of Shuts & Failures, Rejected New Yorker Pieces (Also Rejected by McSweeney's!). He worked for ten years at Forbes Media, writing and editing for both Forbes Magazine and Forbes.com. He also appeared frequently on CNBC, Fox News, Fox Business News, CNN and MSNBC. He is also the author of the 2004 book Buy The Rumor, Sell The Fact: 85 Wall Street Maxims and What They Really Mean. He has performed stand up comedy at The Laugh Factory, The Comic Strip and the Philadelphia Fringe Festival and now reads regularly with Mama D's Arts Bordello in New York. He has had four plays published (Night of Faith and Waiting For Death by Playscripts.com; Principia and Troy! Troy! Troy! by The New York Theatre Experience/indiethieatrenow). From inception to dissolution, he wrote a weekly op-ed column for The Daily, a News Corp. publication designed for tablet computers and he is an occasional op-ed contributor to Reuters and Esquire.
"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm David Mamet. Fuck." - David Mamet
Figure Four Leglock.
I think it's impossible to be a parent without having moments where you don't fear your own incompetence. Some day, you know, you will be exposed as something less than a perfect protector, much less provider. Your child will want something you cannot provide. That might not be a tragedy, but it will be a moment. Worse, your child might need something you cannot provide. That will hurt. [Read more]
Early in my career at Forbes an editor introduced me to the quotation, "Everybody ought to be right," attributed to a 1929 Ladies Home Journal article by John Jakob Raskob, a financier for General Motors and Dupont and a darned good boom times investor. What Raskob meant was:
"...a man is rich when he has an income from invested capital which is sufficient to support him and his family in a decent and comfortable manner - to give as much support, let us say, as has ever been given by his earnings." [Read more]
Back in 2005, when I was still a financial journalist, I attended the Investment Company Institute's annual gathering in Washington, D.C. The end of retirement was a theme of the event. Ken Dychtwald of Agewave argued that the idea of retirement, wherein you stop working in your sixties and get to live a few decades in pursuit of your own ambitions before dying, was a post World War II prosperity phenomenon and that it played such a brief role in our history that you could count on it enduring no more than you could count on always being able to make money by investing in Internet stocks. [Read more]
Timothy Geithner is getting what some on Wall Street will jokingly refer to as his first "real job" as a President and Managing Director at private equity house Warburg Pincus. At Business Insider, Joe Weisenthal's take is that it could have been worse from a conflict of interest standpoint -- at least he's not as a Too Big To Fail bank, lobbying against regulations. [Read more]
November 8th, 2013
As I left my West Village rental on Friday morning a shirtless man wearing a green mask with a beak, ass-liberating chaps and furry green boots confronted me. “I’m Michael Alig,” he said, “And I am here to party. Come on, I’ll take you to the Limelight.”
“It’s 8 a.m.,” I said. “The Limelight isn’t open.”
“The Limelight is always open,” he said. “It’s the hottest club in the city.”
November 6th, 2013
Multimillionaire Bill de Blasio was elected New York City’s next mayor last night. This morning, as I rode my Bloomberg-enabled Citibike to work, three homeless men carrying squeegees surrounded me at a stoplight.
“Clean your bike, sir?”
In terror, I tried to roll up the windows and lock the door, but I was on a bicycle. I had nowhere to go. Soon, the homeless men had taken the bike from me. They wiped it clean, disinfecting the handlebars and seat with antibacterial hand gel no doubt lifted from a Bath and Bodyworks.
20 Things About Anna Karenina That Will Blow Your Mind
Watch This Selfie Of Dorian Gray Transform In Front Of Your Eyes
Bleak House and How You Can Make Money In Real Estate
A Look Inside The Totally Cray Cray Upriver Party House of Mr. Kurtz
This Bit At The End Of The Great Gatsby Is The Piece Of Writing You’ll Be Quoting For The Rest Of Your Life
Ahab: Inside the Mind of an Addict
Cat On A Hot Tin Roof GIFs
Dead Dad Orders Son To Kill His Uncle From Beyond The Grave
Is Your Diet Turning You Into Dr. Jeckyll?
Lady Chatterly’s Lover (NSFW)
Coming back from the gym this morning, I encountered an 18 wheeler with a flatbed trailer, stuck on a narrow West Village street, trying to navigate between the fancy cars parked on both sides. I asked the driver if eyes outside the truck would help. He was happy to tell me where to look while he steered the truck back and forth in an effort to straighten out the trailer without smooshing anybody's fine examples of German luxry auto manufacturing.  [Read more]
The NSA's answer to charges that it spies on the phone calls of citizens in the European Union is that it isn't spying, it is analyzing information provided to it by the intelligence agencies of allied governments. See, the NSA doesn't spy on Spanish people's phone calls. Spain does. Then they tell the NSA all about it. Glad we cleared that up.
This is very close to a defense of the metadata collection that the NSA engages in at home -- the NSA doesn't "collect" the data, says the argument, the phone companies do. Then they tell the NSA all about it. I'm not sure why that's supposed to make me think differently about the whole endeavor, but it works for some people. [Read more]