There's nothing wrong with Roland Burris and there's nothing wrong with the appointment

-- Roland Burris [Read more]

In American cinematic tradition, The Aging Warrior, usually played by Sylvester Stallone, returns to the arena for one last heroic battle against The Arrogant Challenger, defying expectations and muscular degeneration to prove that he's The World Champion For Eternity. The Wrestler, a moving, melancholy character study about a fictional pro-wrestler of a certain age, is not one of those films. There is no epic battle between Aging Warrior and Arrogant Challenger. There is no Arrogant Challenger, period. The young wrestlers in the film are just struggling to make it. They exhibit affection and respect for their legendary predecessor. [Read more]

Don't spend begin the new year without a resolution! At Premium Resolutions, Inc., we supply the finest New Year's resolutions for every situation. Visit us on EBay today! Here are a few samples of our offerings:

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For Britney, Paris, and Lindsay:
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It's that time of year again. Resolution time. We're all supposed to come up with some great goals for 2009. But worthwhile goals aren't easy to come by. Sure, you could promise to quit smoking or abusing pigeons or getting naked in public or whatever boring resolution you make every year and violate three days later, but you've been there and done that. At dagblog, we're committed to helping our readers experience fulfilling and innovative New Year's resolutions. That's why we've developed our patent-pending New Year's Resolution Generator™. Just fill in the easy-to-fill-in form, press the button, and voila--instant resolution gratification.

We hope that you find our service helpful. Please feel free to share the results of your resolutions in the comments section. [Read more]

Gather round, children, and I will tell you the story of Chanukkah (which I brazenly lifted from the internet).

Long ago in the land of Judea there was a Syrian king, Antiochus. The king ordered the Jewish people to reject their God, their religion, their customs and their beliefs and to worship the Greek gods. There were some who did as they were told, but many refused. One who refused was Judah Maccabee. [Read more]

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It was Sept. 18. Lehman Brothers had just gone belly-up, overwhelmed by toxic mortgages. Bank of America had swallowed Merrill Lynch in a hastily arranged sale. Two days earlier, Mr. Bush had agreed to pump $85 billion into the failing insurance giant American International Group. The president listened as Ben S. Bernanke, chairman of the Federal Reserve, laid out the latest terrifying news: The credit markets, gripped by panic, had frozen overnight, and banks were refusing to lend money. Then his Treasury secretary, Henry M. Paulson Jr., told him that to stave off disaster, he would have to sign off on the biggest government bailout in history. Mr. Bush, according to several people in the room, paused for a single, stunned moment to take it all in. [Read more]

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Ah Democracy...freely elected legislators dutifully fulfilling the will of the people by blockading themselves in a locked room while the honorable opposition attempts to dutifully fulfill the will of the rest of the people by breaking down the door with a sledgehammer and other sundry power tools. Full video after the jump. [Read more]

Dear dagreaders, we love ya. Thanks for reading and writing in and being cool people (which I know is a particular challenge for you Canadians).

It's tough to make a name a for yourself in the blogosphere, but the good word is getting out, and our audience is growing. In a fit of wild (yet completely unbiased) enthusiasm, I recently nominated dagblog for the blogger's choice awards. You may have noticed the badge in the right panel. If you can spare us a little love, I hope that you'll see fit to vote for us for 2009 by clicking the badge or this here link. We're nominated for politics, humor, and stuff. I think that you get 3 votes. It does require you to enter an email, but they won't spam you.

If you're feeling especially magnanimous, you can rate us and add us to your favorites at blogcatalog.com. You can also follow us on Facebook's NetworkBlogs.

Thanks so much for your help. Dag.

PS Personally, I've been stupidly busy this month, so I haven't been writing in much, but I promise to pick it up in the new year.

And here's the inevitable Bush-Austin Powers mashup: [Read more]

The mob has gathered round the house of Governor Rod Blagojevich, waving their virtual pitchforks and shrieking for justice. Our own Deadman has even called him "ugly," and Articleman has expressed condescending "sadness." Shame on them. Governor Blagojevich may not be married to a hot Star Trek actress, but he's a fine looking man, if a bit jowly. And no one is fooled by Aman's crocodile tears; we know that he yearns to return to his hometown and claim the office of Governor for himself. (When asked who would replace Blagojevich as Governor, he innocently shrugged in mock ignorance.) [Read more]

Cardboard strikes again: Jon Favreau has been busted for a facebook photo in which he was caught groping a cardboard cutout of Hillary Clinton. Now I can understand the allure of two-dimensional women. In college, my (coed) roommates kept a cut-out of a model stroking a massive six-foot bottle of beer in our common room. But despite the fact that the model was created by marketing geniuses to be the perfect woman (we determined from the disproportionate length of her legs that she was a composite), none of us were quite crass enough to engage in sexual relations with her, at least not in public, let alone pose for a photo in a compromising position with her. And we were unknown pre-facebook college students with a fake woman holding a giant phallic beer bottle. [Read more]

Love it? Hate it? Meh? Talk to me.

Caroline Kennedy is considering pursuing Hillary Clinton's vacant Senate seat according to a cousin, who surely spoke of his own volition and not as part of any political PR strategy. Kennedy may face some stiff competition for the post though, as dagblogger Mortimus is considering changing his screen name to Mortimus Kennedy Jr. and appropriating Orlando's womanly avatar, according to his cousin. Question for the audience: Do you know of any female "Juniors?" Why don't women give their daughters their own names? Or more importantly, why do some men? [Read more]

Prime Minister Stephen Harper prorogued Canada's Parliament yesterday. Proroguing is not to be confused with pierogieing, a Polish sport in which competitors pelt each other with cheese-filled dumplings. While pieroguieing is popular in many Eastern European countries, and the Olympic Committee for Weird Athletics is considering adding a Freestyle Pierogie event to the 2016 Summer Games, Canada has banned the practice since 1993 because of the influential curling lobby, which feared that pierogieing would displace curling as the Guinness Book record holder for "Most Special Sport." [Read more]

In a victory for our folks, Saxby Chambliss won the Georgia runoff. Thank goodness. Our folks took a beating on Nov. 4th as the other folks voted for one of their own. A few years ago, the idea that one of the other folks could become president was unthinkable. But the recession, which was obviously caused by the other folks who forced our folks to lend them money, caused some of our folks to foolishly vote for one of the other folks. Our folks who voted for him may also have been influenced by the other-other folks who attacked us on 9/11 and forced our folks to invade one of their countries. [Read more]

I watched live stand-up comedy one night last week. In an attempt to energize a quiet crowd, a comedian remarked, "So Barack Obama will be President," which elicited a cheer. She then remarked that it was a guaranteed way to wake up a room, which got a laugh. But the laugh carried an ironic note. The trick is dated. Our ecstatic enthusiasm for Obama's exhilarating election is fading. When another comedian tried the same routine later in the night, the response was modest. When a third comedian did it, apparently without realizing that we'd already played that game twice over, the audience remained uncomfortably mute. The trick is played out. We still look forward to Obama's presidency, but the old era has already come to an end. [Read more]

Back in the primary, pundits and critics wondered how Obama could deliver change while keeping his promise of bipartisanship, for the Republicans would surely block progressive initiatives. As Obama selects experienced insiders for his administration, pundits and critics now wonder how he can deliver change with a staff whose ideas have shaped past administrative policies. Some assume that Obama will not try or will not be able to fulfill his promises of change. Others assume that to Obama, "change" is an empty word, useful for getting elected but irrelevant to his governing plans. [Read more]

City of God (2002) tells the story of a good kid from the teeming slums of Rio who struggles to escape the gravitational pull of poverty, crime, and prejudice in quest of love and a better life. Slumdog Millionaire tells the story of a good kid from the teeming slums of Bombay/Mumbai who struggles to escape the gravitational pull of poverty, crime, and prejudice in quest of love and a better life. Thus, a genre is born. [Read more]

Dagster Donal recently posted the news that a South Korea company is pursuing a deal with Madagascar to lease almost half of its currently farmed land arable land equivalent to almost half of its currently farmed land for 99 years in order to grow crops for feed and biofuel. Chinese companies have been doing similar deals with a number of African countries but at much smaller scales. [Read more]