William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Tiger Woods has car accident - time to use Glenn Beck Logic

    When I first saw that Tiger Woods had been in a car accident, I thought, how great, he's just an idiot like one of us. After all, he was just fine, his ego likely hurt more than his body.

    Deadman's picture

    Ennui's a bitch ... and then you blog

    With a couple of exceptions, I've been gone from dagblog for several months. I've rarely posted. I've barely commented. Heck, I've even stopped visiting the site on a regular basis.

    I have a number of legitimate excuses - and some not-so legitimate excuses - for my time away. I did a lot of wedding planning. I picked up online poker again. I broke a wrist. I got married and had a minimoon. I fell behind work at my paying day job. Fantasy football started.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Report: Everyone to be Comically Tasered by Year 2015

    PORTLAND, Maine - A new report from the Wolfrum Alpha Resource Center states that every man, woman and child will be tasered at least once by the year 2015. Most of the taserings will be quite comical.

    “Soon, we’ll reach a point where everyone will have their own taser gun,” said Portland Sheriff Calvin Jarmen. “Then, just sit back and laugh.”

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Pardon these Turkeys

    Pardon me and these turkey headlines …

    … Barack Obama to refuse Pardoning Thanksgiving Turkey, will instead send it to NYC for trial.

    ———

    … Barack Obama to wait to pardon Thanksgiving turkey until it reveals its real birth certificate.

    ———

    … Barack Obama to pardon Thanksgiving Turkey, but only after mandating it to buy insurance from CIGNA first.

    ———

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Multiple Senators hospitalized after obstructing bathroom visits

    WASHINGTON - Nearly 50 Senators suffered embarrassing internal injuries this afternoon, after Republican Senators - joined by moderate Democratic Senators - obstructed the Senate’s new bathroom rules.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Report: Americans tired of ‘Change We Can Believe In,’ demand new catch phrase

    KANSAS - A stunning new poll from the Taibbi Research Center shows that the vast majority of Americans are now tired of President Barack Obama’s mottos of “Change We Can Believe In,” and other Change-based catch phrases. Nearly 80 percent of those surveyed said that the “Change” motto had grown tired and they needed something new.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    CharlesKrauthammerBeingCondescendingTowardMeaphobia strikes David Gregory?

    Rumors have been circulating that “Meet the Press” host David Gregory suffers from the rare and stupid condition: CharlesKrauthammerBeingCondescendingTowardMeaphobia.

    ...

    Doctor Cleveland's picture

    Palin Mania and the Triumph of Narrowcasting

    Sarah Palin may be very unpopular by any traditional polling standard. However, pundits are eager to explain that the important thing isn't how many people like her, but rather the intensity of her followers' enthusiasm for her. Sure, she may poll like Herbert Hoover in 1932, but the thirty-to-forty percent of the country that approves of her includes a hard core of fanatical support. That intensity, we are repeatedly assured, will give her political power, no matter how many people oppose her.

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    Orlando's picture

    Republican Senators Vow to Filibuster Election Day

     

    In a move that surprised only David Gregory, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) announced today that members of his party will work to filibuster Election Day 2010. Said McConnell, "the people have made it clear to us that they don't want to make their voices heard through government-sponsored voting booths funded by taxpayers. It's just one more step down the road to socialism."

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Blogger: "Sarah Palin will always be funny. Always!"

    INTERNET - In a rare follow-up to one of his own blog posts, noted Blogger William K. Wolfrum attacked those that have criticized him for leaning too heavily on Sarah Palin for humor.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Water on Moon: Sarah Palin claims expertise 'I can see Moon from my house'

    When NASA recently send a missile into the Moon’s soil, the event was mostly used for an endless stream of jokes and “Mr. Show” references. Something big came of it, however. They found water. But no one seemed to care.

    “[W]e’ve been to the moon already, and it’s just not that interesting,” wrote noted philosopher Genghis.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Health care reform passes big hurdle - Zombies take to the streets

    WASHINGTON - By the skin of their teeth, Senate Democrats voted to begin formal debate on the Health Care Reform bill that would guarantee medical coverage for nearly all Americans. All Senate Republicans voted to shelve the bill.

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Moon Water: What's it Good For?

    In yesterday's NYT, NASA-affiliated scientist William S. Marshall, wondered why no one seems to care about NASA's discovery of water on the moon.

    Almost as surprising as NASA’s announcement is the lack of attention it has received. Thirty years ago, a development like this would have been heralded as one of humanity’s greatest discoveries.

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    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Sarah Palin and Godwink's Law

    Godwink’s Law

    “As a political discussion involving God gets more media coverage, the probability of Sarah Palin making herself part of the story approaches 1.”

    Example: Sarah Palin made a statement defending Miss California: “The liberal onslaught of malicious attacks against Carrie Prejean for expressing her opinion is despicable. Carrie and I spoke soon after the attacks started; I can relate as a liberal target myself. ”

    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Persecution Politics: Christian Leaders Sign Historic-Futuristic Declaration

    Friday, November 20, 2009. 145 evangelical, Catholic, and Orthodox Christian leaders have signed the "Manhattan Declaration: A Call of Christian Conscience," in which they declared their shared opposition to abortion and same-sex marriage. Though only hours old, the declaration has already been declared "historic" by those whose job it is to designate historic declarations.

    Orlando's picture

    Senator Roland Burris Admonished by the Senate Ethics Panel

     

    I told myself I wasn't going to write about politics anymore. I'm so thoroughly disgusted by the dysfunction rampant in our political system that considering it only makes me angry and depressed. And I really wish I didn't care anymore.

    But, never let it be said that I don't at least try to finish what I started. At the very end of last year and the beginning of this one, I was somewhat critical of Roland Burris for acception the appointment of allegedly corrupt Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich to President Obama's former Senate seat.

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    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Sexy Brazilian lets her hair down, cheats on a cruise ship

    [Author’s Note: This was originally posted on this site on Jan. 8, 2008. But with my wife, Emilia, out of town and me deep in the throes of missing her (Don’t let her know that, tho) I thought it would be a good time for a re-post]

    I try not to mention my wife, Emilia, in my work because, well, I don’t know why. She sure as hell talks about me at her work. She has several bits down pat about the adventures of the silly American in a strange land.

    William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Will Lou Dobbs run for political office and fulfill dreams of “Journotainers” everywhere?

    When CNN forked over whatever amount they had to in order to get Lou Dobbs off the air, one could imagine that Dobbs was sufficiently chastened for his Birther/Mexican-hate ideologies. That would be far from the truth, however, as Dobbs is already making it clear that he should be the one making policy, not discussing it.

    Orlando's picture

    Led by Captain Thierry Henry, France Goes Through to the World Cup and Will Forever After be Known as Cheating Bastards

     

    Last night, France escaped elimination from 2010 World Cup qualifying, sending Ireland home instead. In the last possible seconds of overtime, just before a shoot out would have become necessary, French team captain Thierry Henry forwarded a free kick to William Gallas, who headed it into the goal. Fantastic finish, right? Fantastic except for the fact that to keep the ball in play, Henry basically had to catch it. With his hand.

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