Basil Marceaux for Governor. Have a nice day. (Via Mario Piperni)

Being one of the most influential bloggers on the planet is no easy chore. The endless 18-hour work days can be hard on myself, and my family. Plus, the mainstream media and much of the general public have almost no respect for bloggers. And the pay is horrible.

Now, for the first two issues, there’s little I can do. I am dedicated to the craft, after all. But for the money part, I have learned that there is one thing I can do to make this blog lucrative. And that’s what I’m going to do.

I’m going Huffington Postisize this bitch.

It was going to be a long day, the day she sat down to write her book. She was positive she could get through this, and it wouldn't take long. She was well known because of her mastery of Facebook, Twitter, and the Big Scam. *More on that later* So she had a seat at her very beautiful desk. This was a desk she purchased from a Real Housewife, and boy was it beautiful. because Teresa Guidice had excellent taste.

How do I know, he asked me if I was investing in gold or selling gold. OMG, this guy, even though he is a landscaper, or some such thing, has three kids, gets his health care from the state because he doesn't make much money, recevies food stamps, and aid to go to school. But he always rants about ObamaCare, socialism, fascism, etc! What? Yes you are thinking the same thing I am. However, Beck is ripping off poor folk, who don't know any better, and I feel bad for them.

Look on the bright side – at least the Gulf of Mexico now looks super-bitchin’ under UV lighting.

Al Gore has been accused of sexual assault. He has not been charged with anything at this stage, and may or may not be in the future. But a Portland woman has accused him of sexual assault, and according to the National Enquirer, it’s possible two other women are making similar accusations. Gore recently met with Portland police in regard to the allegations.

From CBS News:

Humans – the cure for a tranquil planet.

At Politics Daily, Bruce Drake sticks with politics, and does so in grand “Interpret the data the way to best fit my narrative” style.

Director and photographer Louie Psihoyos captures images from the Gulf of Mexico.

(image, Gina Papabeis, OPS)

Stalking a woman – on her wedding day – who spurned you is cause for termination in my book. And that’s exactly what Politics Daily legal analyst Andrew Cohen deserves after penning a column titled “On Her Wedding Day, Saying the Things Left Unsaid”

From WashingtonCityPaper.com:

Yesterday or the day before that, as we all know Wikileaks dumped 76,000 secret documents onto their site, and are editing another 15,000 or something like that to dump soon, for all the world to see. And to tell you the truth, I have little to say about Julian Assange, except, who in the hell told him that hairstyle was flattering. He looks like a broke down, Diane Sawyer.

Paul Briggs does an outstanding imitation of how the Obama Administration handled the Shirley Sherrod video nontroversy.

COLORADO - Hours after admitting that his sexual liason with a male prostitute was a "massage gone awry," Ted Haggard has admitted he is again feeling Gay urges.

"What can I say," said Haggard. "I over-repented and shot straight past being straight."

WASHINGTON – Barack Obama will become the first sitting President to appear on a daytime talk show, as he will join the ladies of “The View” later this week – with one notable exception.

“The Obama Administration made it perfectly clear that he would not appear on the show if Elisabeth Hasselbeck is even allowed on the set,” said an insider at “The View.” “And no one here seems to have a problem with that.”

Let’s take a walk.

Meet Eric Roberts, acclaimed movie actor, older brother to Julia Roberts, he stars in:  Worst Economy Ever, a new series,  created by me, with exactly one entry.

This economy is so bad, Eric Roberts had to take a job as an actor on The Young and the Restless. Yikes!

Near the end of Alvin Greene’s interview yesterday with KABC-790 (Los Angeles) crew Frosty, Heidi and Frank, Greene was asked the only question that seemed to matter.

“Are you completely high right now?” asked Frank.

“Yes,” said Greene.