William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Why did Politics Daily's Andrew Cohen highlight "poison" in his column to an Ex-girlfriend (updated)

    Stalking a woman – on her wedding day – who spurned you is cause for termination in my book. And that’s exactly what Politics Daily legal analyst Andrew Cohen deserves after penning a column titled “On Her Wedding Day, Saying the Things Left Unsaid”

    From WashingtonCityPaper.com:

    Creepiest wedding gift in human history? You decide:

    The present I humbly send her today is this column; this public note, this irrevocable display of affection and support and gratitude; this worldly absolution from any guilt or sadness she felt between the time she said no to me and the time she said yes to him. No one ought to have to carry that with them into a marriage. I showered her with as much love as I could muster when we were together. I still love her and always will. So I am only too happy to offer my toast to her now, one more time, before she takes her vows.

    Politics Daily’s Andrew Cohen is obviously in a pretty weird place in his life right now. And he has decided to share it with us all! So let us count the backhanded compliments Cohen delivers, as “the great love of my life marries today and I am not the groom” [Thanks to Date Lab for the tip]:

    * Crazy love: “not enough” or too much? And am I to blame for my own unhappiness, or are you? Oh, it’s probably me:

    I had my chance, a few years ago, but did not realize until too late how fleeting my moment with her was meant to be. Whether it was my fault or hers, and, let’s face it, it was probably mine, I will wonder always about the life I might have had with the most loving and loveable woman I have ever known. Sometimes, I finally now understand, love, even crazy love, is not enough. Sometimes, as the romance novelists know, timing is everything.

    What struck me quite hard is that in the column (which you can see here, until it is rightly pulled off the Internet) is that one word in the entire disturbed essay is highlighted. That word is “poison.”

    I took a look at the page source and copy and pasted the HTML here:

    I want to thank her, mostly, for rescuing me from hopelessness. When we met, back in the spring of 2005, I was nearly 40 and had been dating off and on for two years following an unexpected divorce. I had lost faith in relationships. I had given up on love. She arrived, unexpectedly, and showed me what was possible. She raised me up from the emotional dead. She drew out of me the poison of divorce and betrayal. Eleven years younger but already more mature than me, she was dazzling, brilliant, funny, and sweet; she both gave and taught me patience and devotion and sacrifice. No woman before or since ever made me feel as desired, needed, beloved, appreciated as she did. No one has yet made me want her more. Some men live their whole lives without this kind of love. At least I had it for one brief, shining moment.

    Politics Daily needs to immediately erase this column, and cut all ties to Andrew Cohen. This is beyond creepy. It’s stalking, if not worse.

    Update: From comments: "I agree this is a weird, creepy column, but in Cohen's defense I doubt he had anything to do with "poison" being hyperlinked. That's almost certainly because of an automated ad-linker bot run by the host (in this case, AOL). He probably had no idea that would be linked until he saw it posted."

    WKW: A cogent comment. Regardless, my opinion that Cohen has crossed a serious line and must be terminated remains.

    Update 2: Lizzie Skurnick at Politics Daily has a rebuttal to Cohen, titled "How Not to Congratulate Your Ex on Her Wedding Day" that deserves a read.

     

    Update 3: Cohen has no idea when to shut up.

    –WKW

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    Comments

    I agree this is a weird, creepy column, but in Cohen's defense I doubt he had anything to do with "poison" being hyperlinked. That's almost certainly because of an automated ad-linker bot run by the host (in this case, AOL). He probably had no idea that would be linked until he saw it posted.


    Do you mind that I updated that post with your comment?


    Not at all.


    Such is the difference between two sides of the Atlantic.

    You lot read it with cynicism and bile - yes, Wolfrum, if this entire piece on your column isn't an attempt to steal thunder, then I don't know what is - while we over here read it and most of us will nod knowingly.

    Personally, I think it was rather brave.  I wish more men could put their thoughts to women into words as cogently as Andrew has.

    Married, Wolfrum? If yes, I'm surprised.  If not, I have no problem figuring out why.

    Also, life isn't so serious that you should be calling for his resignation. Go outside, take a deep breath and enjoy life.


    I think I'm in love with Lizzie Skurnick, and I feel no embarrassment at declaring it to the entire Internet community (well, the part that reads dagblog anyway). As Lizzie details, Cohen crosses a number of lines of appropriateness and taste. But I don't think it has to be a firing offence; the exposure of his fragile ego to ridicule should be punishment enough.

    Someone at Politics Daily, however, should have stepped in and said, "Uh, no, you can't do that." This kind of personal, confessional writing may be acceptable on dagblog (where we're delved into such personal things as the loss of loved ones and the decision to leave a city and woman you love). But not on a widely read, avowedly political blog. And even if it were on dagblog, NOT on her wedding day, dickhead.


    What can I say, I'm a hardliner on some issues, especially journalistic ethics and stalking issues. Politicsdaily.com is the No. 700 in the U.S. Dagblog is No. 50k, for compasions sake. It's a big site, about political issues. And the politically minded are not always a stable lot. It's not a place to dedicate 1,000 words to how you feel the "love of your life"on a wedding. I stick with firing offense.


    Grammar police: "...for compassion's sake." Although, I probably would have gone with, "...for fuck's sake." But that's just me.


    I have to wonder what the hell his editors, who at least ostensibly are being paid for their discretion and oversight on what gets printed, were doing that day . . . *that* constitutes a firing offense, I would think.


    Here is how I see it.. dun dun DUN.

    He sat in front of his computer, tears rolling down his cheeks. "I Love Her", he thought, "She needs to know, it could change everything." The tears continued to fall over his cheeks, his hands were damp, he felt a huge release. He loved her so, he really wanted the world to know, for this was his masterpiece, he'd been waiting for this moment his whole life, he was going to become the new Hemingway. He felt proud. He shed just one more tear, cleared his eyes, looked hard at this beautiful essay, it was, to him, perfection. There he was, the only thing that stood between him and ultimately fame, was that button, the dreaded button, his hand seemed to react slowly, his thoughts streaming. He sat there for one more minute, and in the next minute he hit that button. PUBLISH.

    He just sits there now, staring at his laptop, wondering what happened, how could things go so horribly wrong?

    Hahahaha


     

     

    I think you people are all sick. Seriously- I don't know how you could take something

    that was meant and written with good intentions and twist it into some weird freakshow. The guy wrote that love letter with open-hearted intentions for the love of his life. That's clear.  

    How Lizzie could construe that as stalkerish or negative makes me think she is sleeping alone every night with nothing but her old maid outfit to keep her company. Or with a guy who dreams about slitting his own wrists. Get a grip, Lizzie. 

     


    Outfits? OUTFITS?

    Seriously. Old maids get outfits? Why the hell didn't anybody inform me and where can I get one?


    Why you can get the costume right here.... Costumes.


    AMAZING. A+ WOULD READ AGAIN.


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