Richard Day's picture

    I Came, I Saw, I Floundered

    In a mansion erected on one of the Seven Hills, a meeting takes place between Julio and his mother concerning this new threat from Sulla.

     

    Mumsy, it appears I must take my leave ASAP but I shall return once the heat is off, so to speak.

     

    Julio, I am much concerned for the heir apparent of the Julian Clan and the Caesar Clan.  This Sulla is a dangerous man. He calls himself 'The Decider'. And I thought Marius was bad. I never really understood these civil wars. Sulla was one of Mario's greatest generals.

     

    Wars, civil and otherwise, will always be with us Mumsy. I shall be a great war leader in a few years and I will make allegiances with those that help my future. The problem has been with the plebs. Both Sulla and Mario ignored the plight of the people, the masses.  Those who toil from day break to sun down. Those people are the foundation of RomeAsia and Africa, from Spain to Turkey. He has even abandoned his soldiers. Retirement brings with it no booty. I will one day make those soldiers the richest on all three continents. They will always give me their allegiance. and our New Empire. And I will get the support of that backbone of our realm, I will never ignore them. Sulla is too concerned with allegiances and bucking up his oligarchy. He has abandoned the road work needed to bring us commerce from

     

    I pray for the days of the Brothers  Gracchi , Tiberius and Gaius, aka John and Bobby. They had a dream for a better nation, a nation that did not just reward those in power and those licking the boots of the powerful. Land reform. Pensions for those who worked for them. The end of oligarchy.

     

    Bread and circuses, internet for all, that is what I say. Ha.

     

    Mumsy, if you thought Marius was so bad, why the marriage arrangement tying our familia to Marius through my sister?  Oh well, I was able to go to war for the first time and met with POWER for the first time.  A lot of first times Mumsy.

     

    Julio, I have packed your things and here are some coins and letters of credit to help you on your way. Hands him the purse. I think that you are wise to take a smaller retinue  for this journey.  Who exactly is accompanying you on your quest?

     

    I am taking my friend Alejandro and Fracus and, of course, BC.

     

    Julio, BC is sooooo disgusting. Make him clean up will you? Now remember your uncle is Governor of Asia, so if you run into any problems, contact him at this address. And I am not so happy about Alejandro either. At times your relationship with him gives me the chills.  YOU MUST ALWAYS AVOID THE APPEARANCE OF IMPROPRIETY.

     

    Mumsy. I am what I am, and that is all that I am.

     

    Caesar takes his leave of his mother, and retreats to the back gardens where his horses and supplies and retinue await.

     

    BC, you did clean up. Did you bring those soft sponges from the Spanish coast this time.

     

    Yes Master.

     

    Good. Fracus, watch your posture this trip will you. People are starting to think I have drunken sailors for servants.

     

    Julio, why the neat threads? You dress me in the finest white robes and yet you dress down in the meekest of togas?  Alejandro inquired.

     

    Appearances are everything answered Caesar. And with that, our team proceed west with determination.  Caesar was always on the alert, but lived without fear. Fear is for the plebs and those patricians who think they have earned what they have stolen. Ha And his retinue always felt safe with their Caesar. After all, if you are not safe with Caesar, you will never feel safe at all.

     

    After an hour or so on the road, Fracus took out his lyre:

     

    Well Marius and Sulla

    Used to be friends

    And fought for the entire nation

    When Sulla locked horns with his old boss

    Out of total and complete frustration

     

    Well Mario looked down

    Put soldiers on the ground

    And Sulla was none too frightened

    Mario 's cause was lost

    And ran in complete desperation

     

    It was against Rome's Law

    It was against Rome's Law

    What Sulla saw

    Mario broke the law

     

    So we're on our way

    We don't know where we're goin

    We're on our way

    From Sulla's great big army

    We don't know where, but

    Goodbye Rome and my own Juliana

    Singin me and Julio

    Down to the dockyards

    Singin me and Julio

    Down to the dockyards.

     

    Well there are thieves on these roads

    And pirates in the harbors

    And Sulla's soldiers lookin all over

    The best we can do

    Is move like the wind

    And seek hostels for our cover

     

    Our Julio has rewards put

    On his head put there all by Sulla

    With many comin with some determination

    But others know the good

    Of finding this brood

    On the road to their own salvation

     

    It's against the law

    That's what Sulla saw

    Caesar's actin criminal and its

    Against the law

     

    So we're on our way

    We don't know where we're goin

    We're on our way

    From Sulla's great big army

    We don't know where, but

    Goodbye Rome and my own Juliana

    Singin me and Julio

    Down to the dockyards

    Singin me and Julio

    Down to the dockyards.

     

    Fine Fracus, remarked the Caesar. Just what we need on this bright, bright sunny day. You know I could make a song out of that. HA!!!

     

    Our team, by sunset met their first hostel.

     

    Meanwhile a few miles out to sea from the western harbor on an island frequented by senators and criminals we come upon a cabal of pirates.

     

    Doofus and Roofus approach their captain. Master, Sulla's legates have met with us and notified us that that Caesar boy is on the run.  We are to stay on the look out for him. Once captured we are not to harm a hair on his head. And we will be paid handsomely.

     

    Arghhhhh. I'm not so pleased to be doin the bidding of such a pig as Sulla. Everything I got, I earned the pirate way. I stole it fair and square, I say, and it is mine to do with as I please. And what I seek to seek, I shall seek without any interference from govments.  After all, govments are fleeting, but us pirates shall always be sailing the high seas as we have for centuries and will for centuries to come. Captain Rumsy had been in government for many years. He picked up his brogue after he was severely tortured by one of Sulla's fleets during the civil wars. Getting your throat slit can have a real effect upon your rhetoric, so to speak.

     

    He watched as the senators became richer and richer off the slave trade while his own fortune diminished. It was then that the idea of outsourcing came to him.  All Rumsy had to do was take money from the public coffers in is capacity as auditor in the Mario Administration. He and Cheynius fired government workers and contracted with 'sailing enterprises' to supply wine and oil from Northwest Africa to a safe harbor not far from Rome. The two then received 'kickbacks' from the contract firms.

     

    While on one of his 'missions', Rumsy witnessed a slaver arriving at the safe harbor and after some investigation, saw the captain of the slave ship walk away with a fortune. That was all it took.

     

    Doofus, contact our spies at the harbor and get the word out.

     

    I want this aristocrat boy and I want him now, declared Rumsy.

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