Mortimus's picture

    Another Tip From Wall Street

    By Mortimus on Sun, 12/07/2008 - 12:09am | Humor & Satire


    Schenectady, NY
    With the market in freefall and hundreds of his clients suffering heavy 401(K) losses, Chief Investment Officer of AYN Asset Management Robert Lombardo is leaving his clients with one final piece of financial advice before closing up shop at his 17-year old investment firm:

    "Leave your stock certificates in your mother's attic."

    Topics: 
    Humor & Satire
    Deadman's picture

    To ask or not to ask ... these are the questions ....

    By Deadman on Sat, 12/06/2008 - 6:42pm | Potpourri, Personal

    I certainly hope this Hamlet-inspired edition of the question column pleaseth the millions (or at least the hundredths of daggers) and not be caviare to the general ... (btw, it's caviar, not murder, that is most foul, both in concept and taste).

    1. Something is rotten in the state of [Dagblog]?

    2. A dream itself is but a shadow?

    3. O most pernicious woman! O villain, villain, smiling, damned villain?

    4. When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions?

    5. To be honest as this world goes is to be one man picked out of ten thousand?

    Topics: 
    Potpourri
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    Michael Wolraich's picture

    The State of the Day is Estrogenic

    By Michael Wolraich on Sat, 12/06/2008 - 3:41pm | Politics, Potpourri

    Caroline Kennedy is considering pursuing Hillary Clinton's vacant Senate seat according to a cousin, who surely spoke of his own volition and not as part of any political PR strategy. Kennedy may face some stiff competition for the post though, as dagblogger Mortimus is considering changing his screen name to Mortimus Kennedy Jr. and appropriating Orlando's womanly avatar, according to his cousin. Question for the audience: Do you know of any female "Juniors?" Why don't women give their daughters their own names?

    Topics: 
    Politics
    Potpourri
    Michael Wolraich's picture

    Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Canadian Prorogation But Were Afraid To Ask

    By Michael Wolraich on Fri, 12/05/2008 - 1:19pm | Politics

    Prime Minister Stephen Harper prorogued Canada's Parliament yesterday. Proroguing is not to be confused with pierogieing, a Polish sport in which competitors pelt each other with cheese-filled dumplings.

    Topics: 
    Politics
    Deadman's picture

    The Biggest (NFL) Loser ... in 3-D!!!

    By Deadman on Thu, 12/04/2008 - 1:15pm | Sports

    Found this kind of interesting. Apparently, the NFL will be experimenting by broadcasting tonight's NFL game between the 4-8 San Diego Chargers and the 3-9 Oakland Raiders live in 3-D in theaters in LA, New York and Boston. Nothing like watching a supreme battle of Who's the Suckiest AFC team as overpaid behemoths play crappy football right on your lap.

    Topics: 
    Sports

    The Reluctant Blogger Pt 2

    By HSG on Wed, 12/03/2008 - 11:00pm | Humor & Satire

    With the last of the pots scrubbed and the table wiped down, KRXA Hal looks wistfully at the mopped floor of the dining area. After briefly considering whether to scrub the toilets or snake out the pipes and deciding after serious contemplation that now is not the best time to regrout the bathroom tile, KRXA Hal debates internally whether the Biggest Loser really is more compelling television than Dancin' with the Stars. Since neither is on, KRXA Hal reluctantly boots up his always (sigh) trusty desktop.

    Topics: 
    Humor & Satire
    Michael Wolraich's picture

    In rare victory, our folks defeat other folks

    By Michael Wolraich on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 11:57pm | Politics, Humor & Satire

    In a victory for our folks, Saxby Chambliss won the Georgia runoff. Thank goodness. Our folks took a beating on Nov. 4th as the other folks voted for one of their own. A few years ago, the idea that one of the other folks could become president was unthinkable.

    Topics: 
    Politics
    Humor & Satire
    Mortimus's picture

    Liveblogging A Youtube Video (TM)

    By Mortimus on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 10:56am | Humor & Satire

    ATTN: Parental Advisory Explicit Content

     

     

    Topics: 
    Humor & Satire
    Deadman's picture

    MOFT: Episode 2 (The Flip Mino Video Camera)

    By Deadman on Tue, 12/02/2008 - 2:36am | Potpourri, Personal

    So I still happen to be digging Geo Challenge - I don't even want to think about all the hours I've spent on Facebook Playfish games this year. I think they somehow figured out how to put crack cocaine in their code and time-capsule release it over the wires on the Interweb and through the speakers on my computer. I think in some states, Playfish and I would be common law married about now.

    Topics: 
    Potpourri
    Personal
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