Michael Wolraich's picture

    Congratulations, Deadman!

    Hello dagsters. I'm happy to announce the marriage of one of our legendary founders, the man who puts the D in dagblog, the blogger with a thousand questions and inordinately large sunglasses: Deadman. He was married to the lovely Mrs. Deadman on Halloween night in Saratoga Springs, New York. There have been reports of widespread despair among eligible women across the nation. One distraught young woman was so upset that she ate seven pints of passionfruit Pinkberry yogurt with gummy bears and had to be hospitalized. (Sales of the popular frozen dessert spiked immediately after the ceremony.)

    I had planned to report live on the ceremony for dagblog, but I shed so many tears during the vows that I shorted out my laptop. The details of the event are fuzzy, but I recall a hilarious and touching slideshow, a moving toast by Deadman's eloquent brother, delicious food, and a parade of purple manatees on rhinestone rollerskates, though the last bit may have been a hallucination that I had after collapsing on the dance floor during a maritally-induced frenzy of passionate gyration. The only dark spot of the wedding was Deadman's karaoke remake of Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline," which sent frightened guests screaming for the exit. (We are trying to obtain the video for press.)

    Deadman had also invited me to deliver a groomsman's toast during the rehearsal dinner, but logistical complications, which Deadman claims to have been accidental, prevented me from doing so. Therefore, I have recorded the toast-that-wasn't for posterity. This is my first appearance in video at dagblog, so please excuse the amateur production. (My prompter was too low on the screen, causing me to appear shifty-eyed, and I was forced to wash out the color in order to make my skin more palatable to sensitive viewers.)

    Please feel free to share your own wishes and congratulations, as well as to beg Deadman to return to his regular columns now that the wedding is behind him. For those who have not had the opportunity to meet the beautiful Mrs. Deadman or hear Deadman's sonorous singing voice, I have also included the following video, published here a few months ago.

    Topics: 

    Comments

    Time for dead babies. Wait. That doesn't sound quite right. Congrats in any case. And G--nice toast.

    Congratulations!

    (Now I know why all the women dressed as sexy witches that night seemed so forlorn. Deadman off the amrket...)


    So, ummmm, you gonna take her last name, Deadman?

    Unless, of course, it's Deadlady.

    CONGRATS DUDE!

    And well done keeping that psycho guy from crashing your wedding and speaking. Wow. He woulda put a damper on things.


    Congrats to you both Mr. & Mrs. Deadman. May the years bring yada yada and the future hold nothing but yada yada.

    Seriously tho, congratulations :)


    I'd like to also offer my congratulations to Mr. Deadman… and my condolences to Mrs. Deadman.


    Hi. This blog is Drupal platform ?


    I guess there's no harm congratulating a dead couple even though I don't really know any dead people.

    Where's your round sunglasses, Mike?

    Happy coming birthday, not-yet-dead man! And save your toast for the Yankees.


    Don't mean to come late to the party, but CONGRATS!

    Marriage is so fun, you get to listen to your wife complain, you don't have to worry about making any decisions for yourself - because she will boss you around, and if even if you do everything she asks you, you still get to get yelled at because you are not as good as her friends husband. 

    Woah, sorry, I think I did a little projecting on you there. 


    Congratulations, D-man and D-woman. Enjoy your new life together!


    thank you very much G! the mrs. and i just heard the toast last night and both loved it. i feel awful you didn't get a chance to say it at the rehearsal dinner, but we were trying to spread out the talks and then people just started leaving after the slideshow.

    i still should have forced the issue but in general, it's crazy how fast the whole weekend went and how little control you have over your own party. there were a couple things I had planned to do the actual wedding that I didn't get to do either, including some thank yous which I really regret not doing and also a brief ode to mrs. deadman, which I hope to post here soon, and which will hopefully serve as my official return to dagblog. I still am way far behind on work and have the cast which makes typing a huge chore (after 35 years of brokenbonelessness, I broke my wrist playing touch football the week before the wedding), so i still need another couple of weeks.

    it's great to see all the new daggers, and the terrific content. Even without A-man (to whom I never got to wish a proper sendoff!!) and myself, the site's been doing very nicely. thanks to everyone for the congratulations and well wishes, even from those projecting their own conflicted feelings on marriage (which as a 35-YO bachelor, i can assure you I always shared)!! it fucking feels surreal being married. not necessarily good or bad, just surreal. and as much as i miss a-man, it also feels good to just say fucking!

    see you guys soon!


    Ha. Welcome back, and no worries. As I mentioned, the speeches are for the guests, not for the speakers, and the guests were clearly done with speeches. Plus, it gave me an excuse to try a vlog. Speaking of which, I don't think vlogs require much typing. :) Looking forward to your return.

    A note on fucking, since it seems as appropriate place as any to mention. While I think that we can relax our standards somewhat, I suggest that we still try to keep the profanity under control. Too much profanity is amateurish IMO, and it might also get us banned by google news. My recommendation--which is open to debate--is to use profanity only when the situation truly merits it.


    Latest Comments