Just moments after not being able to win back custody of his kids from a wife in rehab, Charlie Sheen shocked the world by coyly mentioning he may consider a run at the White House.

“I know I promised this wouldn’t be political, but look where we f— are, man!” said Sheen. “I would legalize pot. Everywhere. Vending machines, all of it. And subsidize everything.”

Sheen – who said he’d pick Nicolas Cage as his running mate, making it the first-ever ticket based around abusing women – also announced the fiscal policies he’d support when he became President.

“I would disband the Fed, like, now. … And send the I.R.S. to prison,” said Sheen, who fervently believes the United States attacked itself on Sept. 11, 2001.

Sheen’s announcement couldn’t come at a better time for the nation’s media, as now every single network – including obscure cable outlets and public-access shows – have now interviewed Donald Trump, and written stories about how amazing it’s been that he has climbed in the polls.

My friends and colleagues in the media, now is the time to book Charlie Sheen on your show, or interview him for your Web site. Sheen has that one special factor that only people like Trump have – he’ll talk to anyone.

It is time to get Charlie Sheen on all political shows. That way, next week, the media can be puzzled about why he’s climbing the polls in the 2012 race for the U.S. Presidency, while others can ponder why political discourse in the U.S. has gone to hell.

–WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles