Donal's picture

    Prince Neymor vs the Defensives

    Prince Neymor was frustrated. He was expending a lot of energy—using almost all his powers—against his former teammates. But 'teammates' was hardly the proper word for the odd group he faced.

    Yes, Neymor, Doctor StrangeLib, the Incredible Newt and the Silver Server had temporarily joined forces in the past, calling themselves the "Defensives" and opposing common enemies—but they were hardly team players. StrangeLib was devoted to his Libertarian aloneness, but wielded strange and incomprehensible powers over the young. The Newt spent some time as a consulting historian but was more known for his gamma-fueled rages against Progressivism. After interceding to save the Earth from his Lord and Master, Yalactiweh, the Silver Altar Server had been banished to this planet. In protest, he dropped the 'Altar' from his name, but still sought to convert a recalcitrant race before his Lord returned.

    Mutant son of an assimilated mother and refugee father, Neymor was raised in the Morfolk's Lake domain. With his super powers of accommodation and telling people exactly what he thought they wanted to hear, he managed to amass a fortune catering to surface dwellers—the ones who had harassed his kind. A noble but misunderstood hero, Neymor lived among, and served alongside, mortals, but was fundamentally an outsider.

    Now he was waging a long, expensive battle against the other Defensives. Or rather they were all battling each other to decide who should oppose Black Vampire.

    Born an ordinary boy in Hawaii, young Barack had been bitten by a jumping 'Vampire' spider while visiting Kenya, and had gained both that creature's ability to absorb the strength of its opponents, and an excellent jump shot. Calling himself Audacious Man, he costumed himself in both red and blue, but the Defensives always saw him in black and white. They often speculated that he actually was a black spider from Kenya, noting there was no evidence of black spiders found in Hawaii. The Defensives blamed Black Vampire for sucking the life out of the world economy, but had a hard time convincing anyone that owned a calendar.

    Neymor considered himself the best choice to topple Black Vampire, as did most onlookers, but Doctor StrangeLib stubbornly hung around. No one expected much support for the irascible and often terrifying Incredible Newt, but he could be a fierce fighter with no regard for his personal safety. The Silver Server seemed an unlikely choice, but many Christianist people preferred the Server's ancient sect over Neymor's Morfolk heritage. Even the Vexing Valkyrie and Power Man 999 had seemed more popular than the noble Prince Neymor—for a while. But now the field was down to four.

    Their latest battle was in the desert. Neymor's greatest power was almost useless against his fellow Defensives. He was really talented at firing people, but none of his opponents worked for him. He had been adjusting his positions—perfecting them, really—to promise people what they needed, but fewer and fewer people seemed to like or trust him.

    The Incredible Newt was in a rage about gasoline prices. Neymor didn't pack a huge punch, but hadn't had much trouble with Newt since dealing him a SuperPac whack in Iowa. He had licensed the SP technology from Stark Industries under an assumed name. Neymor and the Server taunted each other over spending, but Neymor was unwilling to SuperPac whack a former altar server in public. Then Doctor StrangeLib surprised Neymor by calling the Silver Server a fake. Could StrangeLib be an ally? One could never tell what the crafty old man with his gold standard amulet was really thinking.

    On and on went the battle, Neymor and the Silver Server circled, dodged and feinted while the Incredible Newt sputtered and Doctor StrangeLib faintly smiled. The Silver Server claimed to have absolute power over women's bodies, but there was no indication at all that he could influence their minds. The Server opened an old wound, NeymorCare—something Neymor only did once, a long time ago, to keep some liberals happy—so Neymor fired back, accusing the Server of consorting with the Specter, a minor, moderate costumed hero now regarded as a turncoat villain.

    The battle was inconclusive—again. Prince Neymor thought he won, the Silver Server thought he won, the Incredible Newt boasted about past battles and Doctor StrangeLib promised better magic tricks against Black Vampire. But everyone was tired and irritable. Those who could flew off to lick their wounds. The rest chartered commercial flights.
     

    Latest Comments