I was wandering the aisles of my local Acme supermarket, the other day, wondering if I'd spot Wyle E. Coyote, when I saw Lou Dobbs.  Well, I couldn't restrain myself.  I approached him.  He was there with an assistant, whose main job seemed to be to wipe away Mr. Dobbs' droolings.

I stepped forward and introduced myself.  Mr. Dobbs, being a "man of the people" saw that I wasn't an illegal alien, and allowed me to approach him (after I had showed him two forms of ID, plus my eligibility for the Mayflower society and my sister's eligibility for the DAR, filled out a standard residency questionaire, and left a $50 deposit with his assistant),  I said, "Mr. Dobbs, sir, I just wanted to make you aware of a dreadful situation."  Mr. Dobbs head tilted to one side, and he gestured for me to continue.   I showed him a box of breakfast cereal with a large banner on the front of the box.  In huge letters it stated that:the cereal, "supports your child's immunity."  Mr Dobbs was outraged. "This is America", he shouted, while his assistant wiped away the spittle, "We're a country that lives by the rule of Law ... Those kids should be prosecuted!"

It was breathtaking to see how quickly he sized up the situation. He began to rant that this meant that Barack Obama was, once again, up to no good. Obama was obviously attempting to destroy the Constitution and allow the youth of America to run wild, driving our once great nation further into chaos and anarchy ... and socialism!   Giving Immunity to Children!! OUTRAGEOUS!!

And then ... I showed him the other side of the box.  On the other side, were the word's "We help support your FAMILY'S immunity." To Mr. Dobbs, that made the message perfectly clear. This was not only about America's youth running wild, it was about ILLEGAL ALIEN Families being granted IMMUNITY!!

Mr. Dobbs began to froth at the mouth... He sputtered and fumed. His assistant kept wringing out the small towels, but it wasn't enough, Dobb's drool was flying everywhere.  His rant was being picked up now by the in-store public address system.  Instead of "clean-up in aisle three" shoppers from frozen foods to fresh produce were hearing Mr. Dobbs screaming about Illegal Alien Immunity.  

"And since there has been no response from the White House on this matter", Mr Dobbs continued, "I can only assume that I am completely correct in my assessment, and that they were obviously acting in secret, plotting to poison America by letting kids, (and illegal alien kids at that), get away with ... murder!!   I mean, who needs "Death Panels" when you've got hordes of kids with immunity to do whatever they want, running through the streets and killing other people's grandmothers!!" He paused, but just to take a swig of oxygen from a little tank in his assistant's backpack. "That's just the first step, my friends, in Mr. Obama's nefarious plan to destroy America.  After the illegal alien children run wild, their illegal alien parents will also be given immunity, so they can stay right where they are and continue to take jobs away from REAL Americans and suck our health care system dry."

I wanted to explain to him that, actually, I referring to the plot hatched by the corporate breakfast cereal cartel, which stands to reap huge profits from enslaving the youth of America by getting them addicted to the 'sugar high' offered by their products, before turning them into diabetics who will be forced to pay higher premiums for health insurance ... To which, I added, "I guess that's just your good ol' Free Market system at work, right?"

But it was too late for him to appreciate my sarcasm.  Dobbs was already screaming at the checkout girl and boxing the ears of the bag boy (who looked Mexican, but was actually Polish-Italian)  His assistant quietly slipped each of them a $100 bill as the two left the building.

I could only sigh and hope that he didn't explode in the parking lot. I would have checked, but I had to keep my eye on the Road Runner, who was behind me on line, and definitely showing interest in my sunflower seeds.