The State of the Day is Sniffly

I plan to make State of the Day a semi-regular feature in which I offer brief commentary on the news of the day. If readers like it, I'll try to do it daily, but no promises.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Obama got to see his new digs yesterday. He had profound words to offer concerning his first visit to the Oval Office, "It's a really nice office." Hopefully, G.W. will leave the office in better shape than he leaves the nation. Someone should have asked for a security deposit from that guy.

In Utah, a weird religious sect fights for recognition. In a surprise twist, the sect is not polygamous. Adherents of the Summum religion (Summumians? Sumsters?) just want to display their Seven Aphorisms monument next to the Ten Commandments monument in a public park. Their case will be heard in the Supreme Court today. According to the Sumsters, the Seven Aphorisms were inscribed on the first tablets Moses brought down the mountain but destroyed because the people weren't ready. How convenient. The divine wisdom was lost to the world until certain "Summa Individuals" shared them with sect founder Claude "Corky" Nowell, a.k.a Summum Bonum Amon Ra. For a taste of what it means to be Summumian, I present you Aphorism #1, the Principle of Psychokinesis: "SUMMUM is MIND, thought; the universe is a mental creation." Not clear? Here's the helpful commentary: "This living MIND performs gastrulation, which is a turning of itself inside out, manifesting its esoteric NATURE outwardly." The Summa Individuals apparently read Spinoza. The town, of course, doesn't want the aphorisms. Most of the citizens are good Mormons who would never believe anything so silly as a divine message delivered in epiphany to a self-proclaimed prophet, especially since the record has been lost. How convenient. Nonetheless the town's mayor regards the Ten Commandments monument as little more than a pretty rock: "The fact that we own the monument doesn't mean that what is on the monument is something we are espousing, promoting, establishing, embracing." Perhaps they could resolve the case with a disclaimer: "Pleasant Grove City does not endorse any of the following commandments."

In other news, Circuit City filed for bankruptcy protection. According to CFO Bruce Besanko, people haven't been buying fancy gadgets because they can't get any more credit cards. Not content to take our tax money, those evil investment bankers are now depriving us of new flat screens that we can't afford. On the other hand, skeptics note that the ole' CC has had only one profitable quarter in the past two years. Unfortunately for CC, while the filing may stave off immediate closure, consumers may be hesitant to buy from a store at risk of going under. Unless of course they offer us a liquidation sale. Giddy up. In truth, I'd be sad to lose my neighborhood CC but wouldn't complain if it were replaced by a BB. On the other hand, if things keep going this way, it could be converted into an empty storefront, a vacant lot, or a crack house, which at least means that I woudn't have to travel so far for my crack.

Finally, the most important news of the day. I'm feeling sniffly. I thought that it was a reaction to my flu shot last Thursday, but apparently the viruses in flu vaccines are "inactive," that is to say, "dead." While you can have an allergic reaction to the flu shot, several days of sniffling and coughing is inconsistent with that. I was in Philly this past weekend, so if you live around there and catch a cold, mea culpa.