The Bishop and the Butterfly: Murder, Politics, and the End of the Jazz Age
    Nebton's picture

    Null fish

    A while ago, a friend of mine introduced me to the concept of the "null fish". It's the atheists response to the Jesus fish. I know what you're thinking - don't we already have the FSM "fish", the Darwin fish, and the Evolve fish? Well, first of all the FSM fish technically advocates belief in the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and I don't think you can be an atheist and believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I'm pretty sure s/he qualifies as supernatural. As for the Darwin/Evolve fishes, they're not really particular to atheists, are they? I mean, several Christians et al. (and probably all regular Dagblog posters, regardless of religion) believe in evolution, don't they?

    OK, so your next question will no doubt be: what is this null fish? It's simple. The null fish is the absence of a Jesus fish. I've got hundreds on my car right now. I've even got several dozen of them on my windshield (try that with Jesus fish if you're a truly devout believer!), and I've got one hovering right now below my neck on a non-existent necklace. Now, I know what some of you atheistic hooligans might be thinking, but you don't need to remove Jesus fish from other people's cars to vandalize them with these null fish. Just stick one on top of the Jesus fish! You can do it with your mind from a safe distance, and you're guaranteed not to be caught.

    I won't say who put it there, but the Pope even has one on his back, as does Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. Suggestions for other places to put them are welcome, but keep it polite.

    Image icon null-fish.png1.29 KB


    For those Christians et al. who like this idea, but who aren't willing to renounce your beliefs in the supernatural, I'm also offering null FSMs (for those wishing to aver that they don't believe in the FSM) and null thunderbolts (for those wishing to profess that they don't believe in Zeus and/or Thor). Act now, and I'll throw in a null Calvin & Hobbes for free! (I'm not sure what that indicates, but I suspect it has something to do with philosophy and/or Ford trucks.)

    Fish are slimy. I prefer null puppies.

    How about null lol cats?

    Invisible cats are the best kind. Sign me up!

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