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Roland Burris, we hardly knew ye

Genghis — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 17:38:06 +0000

There's nothing wrong with Roland Burris and there's nothing wrong with the appointment

Since Burris is out of the picture, Genghis would like to remind still-Governor Milorad "Rod" R. Blagojevich, (pronounced #$%!*$) of the $10 that Genghis sent him on Dec. 18th and the promises that the still-Governor made to Genghis at that time. As an American citizen over the age of 30, Genghis is eminently qualified to be Senator and as the 14th Jewish Senator would help to address the underrepresentation of Jews in the in Senate. Moreover, Genghis will not wilt like an unrefrigerated tomato in the face of Senatorial resistance. Like the still-Governor, Genghis doesn't give a damn about the nation or the Democratic Party. Genghis only wants four rent-controlled apartments in Manhattan, a house in the country with an extra floor inserted underneath it, and a few Scottish and Caribbean golf trips. Plus golf lessons because Genghis admits that he doesn't know how to golf. Genghis LOL's at the right-wing smear campaign accusing him of failing to represent Illinois. Genghis visited Chicago in September, and "he totally gets Illinois," according to Genghis. Genghis also promises to buy a house in a fancy Chicago suburb once he cashes in on his office.

Genghis thanks the still-Governor and promises to use the might of his Senate seat to ensure that such a great, selfless, eloquent man will never be penalized for absurd allegations. Genghis promises to ensure that the still-Governor will never be penalized either.

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For more adulation of the Senator-who-could-have-been, see Orlando's posts, Rest in Peace, Roland Burris, and Roland Burris and the Sad, Sad State of Illinois Politics.

NFL Playoffs - Figuring Out Who To Root For

Mortimus — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 06:23:24 +0000

First let me start off by saying that this isn't a particularly easy post for me to write. It'd be an honor to delight you all with a long diatribe about the Jets annual implosion, but that would conflict with one of the great joys of being their fan. That of course is the joy of pocketing all the rage and torment into the pit of my stomach and then watching it explode at the most inopportune times like a bootleg 8th century jack-in-the-box. Like that time a few years back after Doug Brien missed two field goals in the last two minutes against the Steelers and I had to be escorted out of a Dunkin Donuts after receiving 27 cents of change in the form of three nickels, a dime and two pennies. What can I say, I like quarters.

The answer to the above question has been pretty simple in the past, and the answer was always: Whoever the heck was playing the Patriots. Alas, with no hoodie and the Jets busy ending the careers of college coaches I've become like a tipsy teenager lying in the corner sobbing without a prom date. Don't be mistaken, I didn't enter the ballroom alone, rather I had two potential suitors. One was a Mr. Chad Pennington who I still felt wore green underneath his jersey like a weak-armed Clark Kent. And the other was the Colts. Why the Colts? Well, first, because I think it'd be kick-ass (phrase warranted) to see a Manning on Manning championship - the ultimate sibling rivalry played out for 1 billion people with the loser getting a wet willie and a dutch oven instead of a post-game handshake. And secondly, because I want the best teams to win in the NFL. Super Bowl winners are cast in Bronzed American hero and Disney ears and for the rest of my life I will be bombarded by endless NFL Films coverage of these games. Really, imagine if you had to hear in a deep-throated voice the greatness of Neil O'Donnell and Stan Humphries until your death. Imagine if after the 2000 Super Bowl your 5 year old boy went out in the backyard to practice becoming the next Trent Dilfer (Reality cringe).

So now with the wheat separated from the chaff, and the AFC East separated from the NFL I'm taking another stab, and planting my green lipped kiss of death on one more team (fans of the winner I do apologize). Here are my musings:

Giants - I supported them last year but that was more so I could quench my thirst for those delicious sodium packed New England tears. Supporting them twice in a row in the playoffs and I might as well start calling myself "Client 9" to conceal my identity in my Jets marriage. Also, I reap nothing from their victory. The problem is two-fold. First, every time I reveal myself as a Jet fan I'm forced to follow it up with an explanation. "So you're from New York, huh, well congrats on your Giants man, they are awesome!....oh....you're a Jet fan?!!?...why?" Second a back-to-back championship and we'll be crossing into arrogant gloating territory. Defending myself to pompous Giant fans "No I swear I was backing you the whole time" will be futile. I know this because it was entirely futile last season and my reasons were more than substantial. The name blasted on Giants stadium already pronounces my inferiority, another win and I'll be referred to as the Giants AAA-affiliate.

Eagles - I love McNabb and I like Andy Reid. But those fans. It's not the violence that gets me, as far as I'm concerned launching batteries and snowballs at Santa is all well and good (if not really colorful). It's the bitching about the roster. No team outside spygate has had it as good this century, yet every season I'm inundated with Eagles bitching, it's as if it's mandated in the city charter. Philly has tried to cut ties with McNabb for years, and for what good reason? For Kevin Kolb? The guy who threw 3 picks and zero TDs after a 'tie' misunderstanding? I wish the Eagles were saddled with an atrocious QB. For New Year's I made a resolution that Kellen Clemens becomes their Quarterback. Yea, I know it's not really a resolution but I wanted to go fancy this year and trade in my goal for self-improvement into someone's ill will. I admire McNabb, really I do. Because I'm pretty sure the only reason he sticks around is for the possibility of the post Super Bowl celebration. That moment when he's on the podium with his teammates and Roger Goodell. That eternal moment when Goodell hands him the Lombardi trophy and the microphone. As he speaks, joy washes over his face, and the wrinkles ease as years of built up frustration finally let loose. "The fans and the city of Philadelphia...this one's for you" The crowd explodes in excitement. Donovan puts down the trophy, and extends his middle finger to the crowd "I'm out"

Panthers - I still think Steve Smith hasn't gotten his due for the most overlooked TD celebration of all time: "The Baby Football Wipe." And more than a significant part of me wants him to give the media a chance to make amends by wiping the fecal matter off the Lombardi Trophy before rocking it to bed. But I think it would be a little weird for Jake Delhomme in year 6 of being backup/starting QB to win Super Bowl MVP (and I'm sure he'd still have to show proof of identification at the yearly "SB MVP Luge Outings" held in Lillehammer). Plus, I'm tired of all this "Carolina" crap. Stop trying to be so inclusive. We all know the team is located in Charlotte, so call yourself the "Charlotte Panthers" or the "North Carolina Panthers." I've got a brilliant idea for a team it's called "America Liberty" (located in Los Angeles) but everyone can be a fan, yay!

Titans - Tennessee has several things going for them. First, they are QB'd by a guy who didn't even have to dress up for his 'drunken sea captain' costume this Halloween. Second, it will be downright delightful to see how much weight LenDale White packs on in the off-season as a champion. If I'm a Chinese food delivery man I'm dropping every one of my menus at his stoop. If Sportsbook doesn't put up that prop bet they are fools, and if they don't put the over/under at at least 35lbs then they are going to get cleaned out. Third, Jeff Fisher deserves it. Management has stuck with him for 15 years, and it'd be nice if they could have their faith confirmed. Yea, it's not funny, but what can I say, I'm a sap for people not getting laid off. Of course, the Titans are also responsible for kneecapping my Jets with delusions of grandeur, and its hard to root for a guy (Albert Haynesworth) who tried to turn Andre Gurode's head into a Jackson Pollock painting.

Steelers - I like Pittsburgh. They've got a deeply loyal fan base with management that consistently produces a solid honest product on the field. You also have to respect a city that hosts a baseball team that they know full well will never win another title in their lifetimes. There isn't a whole lot not to like. Bonus: another Steelers Lombardi trophy and the odds of Bill Cowher jawing it on the field (and hopefully for my Jets) skyrockets. Still, I like my NFL deeply paritied, and Pittsburgh is starting to infringe on 'piggish territory.' Shivers are going up my spine as I type this envisioning the trademarked chant "one for the other thumb." ooohoooh. Also, I'm not sure how great of a spokesman this makes Ben Roethlisberger for helmet safety. "Yea, I crashed headfirst going 45 with no protection. True I won my second title and Super Bowl MVP a couple years later, and a subsequent $75 million contract extension, but so what? Listen up kids: safety first."

Chargers - Had this been a few years back they almost assuredly would have been my pick. I love LT. I don't think it can be overstated how amazing it is to hijack a nickname from a legend. Think of how likely it would be for Marquis Jamison to don the acronym "MJ" as a 7'2" Center in the NBA? But did anyone look less excited after their win last week than him? Fact is, LT's broken down and he's been usurped by a 5'5" Sonic the Hedgehog - though I shall note, definitely a feather in their cap. Still, Merriman's absence means the loss of a transcendent defensive player getting his due. Jamal Williams and Antonio Cromartie are great, but not jersey throwing Coca-Cola commercial material. Plus, I have a distinct feeling that Philip Rivers will not be a humble champion. He strikes me as the guy who slaps it on the pinkie, and juts it out whenever he takes a sip of Vitamin Water, or overtly licks the pinkie padding whenever noshing on buffalo wings in the company of Donovan McNabb, Drew Brees, Matt Hasselbeck, Carson Palmer and Dan Marino.

Ravens - I feel like we've done this before. But even the 2000 team had a future 2,000 yard running back. Hearing a baritoned voice on NFL Films repeating the name Le'Ron McClain 20 times isn't getting me excited. Plus, I want to see an explosive Super Bowl, not half a game of 3 and out with the Ravens D collecting bounties of cracked helmets (see: Necessary Roughness). More importantly, a Ravens Super Bowl cements the likelihood of those dastardly Brian Billick Coors Light commercials being played on loop - plus, a couple of overproduced fresh ones incorporating talking frogs and a hammer swinging Olympian.

Cardinals - I'm going with the Cardinals for one reason only, and that's for the greatest story in the history of sports (hyperbole my arse) to more ridicululize (sp?) itself. Plus, when Disney comes out with the movie "Kurt Warner: This Story is True. No We Swear" in a few years they'll have to explain the Brenda Warner phone calls, the NY Giants years, and Matt Leinart losing his job because of some well-documented funneling with co-eds. They won't be able to just cut it off with Dick Vermeil and him sobbing together in celebration. And more importantly because after Warner wins for the 2nd time, he'll grab the mic and say "first I'd like to thank God, wait, just so everyone knows...I am God. Don't freak out, calm down, just everybody stay cool, everything is going to be alright, the world is not going to come to an end I promise you. Yea, I am God. I really don't know why you are all surprised, did you really think that some 40-year old stock boy could pull this shit off twice!!! C'mon, I won my first Super Bowl by a yard for Kurt's sake! I created you guys in my own image and frankly I thought you would have been a wee bit more observant. No hard feelings Matt, but I totally Kurt'D you in the off-season, those ladies were angels and I was the photographer. Oh, and I'm going to Disney World. As a matter of fact, I'm there right now, actually I've been there this entire game."

Around the World in 80 Songs: Brazil

Orlando — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 01:37:51 +0000

My New Year’s resolution for 2009 is to keep myself entertained. And, I ask you, what could be more entertaining than launching a worldwide exploration of music together? We’ll be starting our tour in South America—specifically Brazil, because I have a special place in my heart for all things Brazilian.

Befitting such a large and geographically diverse country, the musical styles of Brazil run the gamut from Bossa Nova to Rap to Metal. But my favorite style, not just of Brazil, but of any music anywhere, is Samba.

Samba, out of the tradition of Carnaval (the Brazilian Mardi Gras), is well-known for its breakneck pace, wild percussion, and, of course, the dancing. In Rio, Samba Schools compete for the Carnaval title in lavish parades where the women wear most of their costume on their heads, covering up their bodies only in the most strategic locations.

Think of a samba school as a sort of community organization. Originating in the favelas, or shanty towns, of Rio, each samba school brings together the residents of a neighborhood to build floats, create costumes, write music, and learn choreography, all with the hope of winning the Carnaval title.

A little further north, up the Atlantic coast from Rio, is Salvador da Bahia. Where Carnaval in Rio focuses on samba and the competition, in Salvador, the musical styles are Axe and Samba Reggae, a style popularized by Olodum, a group founded in 1979 that also doubles as a community organization, music being as integral to the fabric of Brazilian society as food and water.

Batucada is basically samba for percussion. If you close your eyes and let the drums take over, you’ll be transported. You won’t need a partner. You won’t even need sustenance. You might find yourself in a crowded nightclub or in the middle of a street filled with Carnaval revelers. You won’t care. All you’ll need is to keep dancing.

Stepping away from Carnaval is hard. The music stays in your head and in your heart. I have an Italian friend who says that the music of Samba makes her a little sad. I think it’s because she knows that eventually it will have to end and she’ll have to return to reality, where the music doesn’t always play.

But there are 51 additional weeks in the year, and Brazilians simply can’t live them without music. Here, Caetano Veloso and Roberto Silva, two giants of Brazilian music, share the stage for a much more subdued Samba.

Musica Popular Brasileira (MPB) is Brazil’s version of urban pop and encompasses whatever is being played on the airwaves. Here’s a song called “Bandeira” by Zeca Baliero, a popular MPB artist.

I have yet to hear a Brazilian musical style, or even a song, that I don’t enjoy. Just don’t ask me to translate the lyrics because my knowledge of Portuguese is limited to profanity. I’ll leave you with one of my all time favorites, “Magdalenha” by Sergio Mendes. I doubt you’ll be able to stop yourself from dancing.

Cancer: Early diagnosis and the Canary Foundation ...

Deadman — Mon, 05 Jan 2009 02:59:16 +0000

A few weeks ago, I wrote about how insufficient the typical yearly doctor physical seems for adequately diagnosing diseases, and how modern technology could be used so much more effectively. Interestingly enough, the latest Wired magazine cover story addresses this very issue with a specific focus on the battle against cancer. It's a fascinating read.

The article focuses on The Canary Foundation, a Silicon Valley organization that is solely focused on improving the early diagnosis of cancer (you know, the whole canary in the coal mine metaphor). The story points out why my original post was overly simplistic, as even the most advanced CT scanning and MRI technologies cannot always find the smallest of tumors and can't at all determine the molecular structure of tumors, which can say a lot about the danger posed by the cancer (apparently, a number of tumors in certain cancers aren't a threat).

But the main point remains: A third of all Americans will be diagnosed with cancer. More than 500,000 will die every year. And yet, if cancer is caught early, during the disease's first two stages, the 10-year survival rate is 90 percent. Better diagnostic tools would likely save lives and money, and early diagnosis should be a much easier problem for modern medical science to solve than finding those elusive cures.

Of course, it's not surprising that the pharma industry spends nothing on the issue, since there's not a lot of direct money to be made in early detection. But why is only 8 percent of the National Cancer Institute's budget, and a minuscule portion of private foundation money, allocated to early detection?

In my mind, it's a travesty, and I most certainly now know where my next significant charity donation will be going.

Michigan-Illinois: Illini Fight the Myth in Michigan

Articleman — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 19:12:55 +0000

Today in Ann Arbor, the Fighting Illini sought to put a cherry on the Sunday of this week -- to top the ice cream sundae of beating Purdue on national TV that should vault the Orange and Blue into the national rankings for the first time since March 2006. Yet to assure themselves of vaulting past Baylor, Gonzaga, and Michigan (all likely to fall into the limbo of the unranked) and to the forefront of the Big Ten, the Illini faced two tall orders: beating the hungry Wolverines in their own building, where Wisconsin ground and executed them into submission days ago, and also, stepping past the Michigan program that enjoys permanent exposure and star factor, no matter its mediocrity. When Coach K's protege Tommy Amaker failed to get Michigan into the NCAA tournament during his tenure, highly sought West Virginia coach John Beilein, fresh from two extended NCAA tournament runs, stepped up to take this supposed marquee job. National telecasts of this perennial also-ran's games from Crisler Arena confirm the same irrational network love accorded only to Notre Dame football. Thus, the Illini went to Ann Arbor with a chance not only to vault to the front of the highly competitive Big Ten, but also to make the statement that Illinois is a basketball school that prize recruits should attend, and that networks should broadcast -- while Michigan is a football school and hoops wannabe in the conference's second tier.

While it was not to be, the early going provided no indication that this would be an L. Michigan's crowd came out characteristically flat and morguelike. There is nothing intimidating about playing in this building, and never has been. Even the winter break crowd at Mackey Arena showed a lot more spirit. While the Wimbledon crowd sat on its maize and blue hands, Chester Frazier's electrifying, shocking dunk at 8-7 was my play of the year. Illinois was bringing its intensity in the second game of this road trip. When Michigan's outside shooting sparked an 8-0 run to 16-9, Illinois suddenly got up in Michigan shirts, snapped its passes more crisply for open looks: 17-16 Illini. This game felt oh-so-eminently-winnable.

The Michigan crowd distinguished itself in the art of lethargy when Detroit native Alex Legion entered the game at the twelve minute break. Legion had committed to the Wolverines before Coach Amaker's firing, and then switched to Kentucky before ending up in Champaign. They don't care. Nary a anti-Legion boo or chant darkened Crisler, even more in need of a crowd bailout than its namesake automaker needs the federal bailout. Booing the uncalled travel before Legion's first three doesn't count, Wolves. Digression: I was at Assembly Hall in the spring of 1988 when the Illini faithful booed Michigan All-American point guard Gary Grant every time he touched the ball. Cacaphonous. Louder than loud. Grant scored under ten for the first time in three years. The Michigan fans need to let Alex know he's foreign Legion, but they didn't early on.

With Illinois leading 27-23, the game stagnates. Proving the truth of my introductory paragraph, announcer Jimmy Jackson, late of The Ohio State University, chimes in with the whole "the Big Ten is best when Michigan is good" argument. Gosh, Jimmy, the Big Ten must have stunk for the last ten years. I missed this. Thanks for the reality check, man. Given the haphazard Michigan offense this week, the Big Ten may be doomed for some time to come.

While Frazier sitting after his second foul at 3:49 and Michigan tying the ensuing free throws felt like a turning point, it wasn't. Illinois' foot-on-the-arc offense put it up 35-31 on the Legion deuce, and the Michigan crowd quieted further. Demetri McCamey's maturity as a passer, and the offense's spectacular efficiency just kept the points coming. On the road, in a building where then number four Duke recently lost, the Illini would take a halftime advantage of 39-38 to the locker room. Illinois has still not trailed at the half all year.

The question of the second half figured to me to be whose defensive intensity would assert itself, with each team scoring freely both having only three turnovers at the half. Illinois extended briefly to 46-40, but despite several quick Michigan fouls, the Illini could not pull away. Lucas Laval-Perry, one of the host of players run out of Tucson in the Lute Olson meltdown, hurt the Illini with his long-range shooting (even retired, Lute is finding a way to vex the Illini faithful), and the Manny Harris jam for a 50-48 lead was a shot to the jaw. A Weber timeout ensued. While Michigan extended to six, the Legion three from deep in the right corner and Legion's dish to Davis for rare interior points cut it to 54-53. The Illini hung in, just as they had at Purdue.

At the ten-minute mark, Michigan clung to a one point lead at 56-55. The key to the half thus far was Michigan taking away Illinois' interior offense, starting with Manny Harris' big rejection of Mike Davis, and continuing as the Illini got lost in the Maize, turning the ball over near the basket, and settling for long range shots that fell less frequently in the second stanza. Coach Weber may have noted this, because after a timeout, the Illini went stronger to the basket, working it in to Tisdale for a short hook, and McCamey's went to the glass for a tip in that tied it at 62.

From there, Illinois ran out of gas. At four minutes left, Illinois had scored only 23 in the second half, and Chet Frazier had four fouls, taking a little of the edge off of Illinois' defense. The Michigan faithful had even learned to boo Legion a little. And then Grady drove for the first continuation call in the history of college hoops, with a foul ten feet from the basket, and the ensuing basket. McCamey's missed layup kept it at 70-64. The turnover forced by Mike Davis gave Illinois a chance to score, but it was Michigan scoring more efficiently in the second half. These Wolverines look more tournament-ready than Tommy Amaker's crew that folded down the stretch so many times. These Illini, having missed seven in a row to close this one, looked like an upper-echelon Big Ten team, maybe even a team meriting their ESPN.com power ranking of 17, but not yet the part of a Big Ten champion. The Maize and Blue played their song -- the Leaders and Best, and all that -- before the crowd filed out. The last three or so minutes of this road trip aside, this Illinois team is better than this Michigan team. But under Beilein, Michigan, while not big enough for the vast britches of its national hype, is coming on.

The bottom line is that if you said at the week's start that Illinois would split these games, any reasonable Illini fan would take that result. So we tip our hats to the Wolverines, the first team to beat these Illini by more than a basket, and move on. With the hapless Hoosiers, and a January 14 rematch with Michigan next on tap, these Illini should be 15-2 in two weeks. Alex Legion took a further step forward today, the Illini's unquestioned offensive efficiency remains, and this young team is maturing. The Illini march back to the upper echelon continues apace. Today's failure to overcome the myth of Michigan feels temporary indeed.

If you'd like to subscribe to my Illini hoops blog, please click here. Or click here for my recent colums about the big Purdue victory, and my Top Ten Villains of Illini Basketball.

Film Review: The Wrestler - Hulk Hogan in Shades of Blue

Genghis — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 18:52:40 +0000

In American cinematic tradition, The Aging Warrior, usually played by Sylvester Stallone, returns to the arena for one last heroic battle against The Arrogant Challenger, defying expectations and muscular degeneration to prove that he's The World Champion For Eternity. The Wrestler, a moving, melancholy character study about a fictional pro-wrestler of a certain age, is not one of those films. There is no epic battle between Aging Warrior and Arrogant Challenger. There is no Arrogant Challenger, period. The young wrestlers in the film are just struggling to make it. They exhibit affection and respect for their legendary predecessor. The only battles in the movie are psychological, and the characters chiefly grapple with themselves. The physical wrestling, by contrast, is just showbiz. There are no extended training montages scored by glam rock battle hymns. Other than Springsteen's plaintive The Wrestler, which plays as the credits roll and haunts you out the door, the only music you'll hear emerges from car radios and arena speakers, giving the 80's metal and rock a tinny sound that underscores the old wrestler's faded glory.

There is also a long theatrical tradition of The Senile Has-Been who pitifully indulges himself in the delusion that he is World Champion For Eternity while the Arrogant Challenger cunningly usurps his throne. Examples include King Lear, Death of a Salesman, Glengarry Glen Ross, and the 2008 presidential election. The Wrestler is not one of those either. Randy the Ram (Mickey Rourke) knows full well that his career has neared the end and that there will be no return to the glory of his youth. These days, he lucidly endures daily humiliations with grim patience: locked out of his trailer home for failure to pay rent, taunted by the manager at his day job as a supermarket stocker, filled full of staples in a particularly sadistic but crowd-pleasing wrestling act. He finds solace in the respect he still receives from fellow wrestlers and devoted fans as he painfully climbs the ropes each weekend to deliver theatrical body slams. Evenings, Ram visits a chintzy suburban strip club for lap dances from a cynical stripper known to him by her stage-name, Cassidy, who firmly dismisses his amorous invitations.

The film pivots from sad to wrenching when Ram suffers a heart attack, bringing an abrupt end to his faltering career. Lonely and poor, he takes a degrading deli job at the supermarket and reaches out to Cassidy (Marisa Tomei) and his estranged daughter (Evan Rachel Wood) for affection. The second half of the film portrays Ram's struggle to interact with these two ambivalent women and deal with his yearning for the attention and adoration on which he had thrived as a performer.

With his blond mane and good-guy stage persona, Randy the Ram mimics Hulk Hogan, who wrestled as recently as 2007 at age 53. Like Hogan, the Ram had famously defeated the forces of Iranian villainy at Madison Square Garden in the 80's, the Iron Sheik being replaced with the fictional Ayatollah. Mickey Rourke has obviously devoted himself to the part. At 56, he must have undergone extensive training (and perhaps medication) to put on the impressive muscular bulk he carried. His studied performance seduces the audience with a beautiful portrayal of a sweet, broken man, who in contrast to his fierce stage persona and exploding pectorals exhibits affection and generosity towards Cassidy, his daughter, his fans, and his fellow wrestlers alike. But the audience's empathy comes at a price. The film frequently alludes to Ram's past as a self-centered, emotionally distant party-animal, but despite one scene of old time pro-wrestling debauchery, it's difficult to imagine such behavior from Rourke's tender wrestler. As a result, Rourke's rendering is less complex and less real than it might have been.

Marisa Tomei is excellent as usual, as a determined, self-protective older stripper and mother, though like Rourke, she displays too much sugar and too little salt. Cassidy is supposed to have buried her emotions within a thick defensive shell, but the shell cracks too quickly and easily for that to be convincing. At 44 and frequently naked, Tomei also looks fantastic.

Evan Rachel Wood is easily the weakest of the three as the angry, insecure daughter. With only a few scenes to fill out her character, it's a difficult role. Wood shifts rapidly from curses to embraces to tears and fails to make the character work.

But responsibility for the acting flaws should certainly be shared with director Darren Aronofsky. From Ram's slouch as he drags his suitcase around town to the dull lighting and tawdry sets, Aronofsky's wrestler is an object of pathos, not tragedy. As such, his tragic flaws seem as if they were pasted on by an eager screenwriter. These flaws should either have been removed from the script or else honored in the direction.

Except for this weakness, the directing was careful, subtle, and effective. If you excuse the half-baked tragedy and melodramatic aspects, you will be rewarded with a beautiful, uncommon film that traces the universal sadness of old age and lost purpose embodied in the muscular bulk of a uniquely American folk hero, and you will emerge from the theater emotionally exhausted but cathartically sated.

Helpful links:

My Top Ten Secret Legal Strategies, by Rod Blagojevich

Articleman — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 17:23:32 +0000

The following list of ten defense strategies may or may not have been found near a trash bin outside Rod Blagojevich's home, and may or may not be a list of ten things he thought of to defend himself and to discuss with his lawyer, Ed Genson.

My Top Ten Secret Legal Strategies, by Rod Blagojevich

10. That Was Illegal? No shit.

9. I Never Even Finished the Crime. If they had let me auction off the Senate seat, then they might have had something to complain about. But U.S. Attorney Smartypants Fitzgerald indicted me for talking about doing something that might be wrong. Who doesn't ever think about doing something wrong? [Expletive] Mother [Expletive] Theresa? Whatever.

8. No One Is Dumb Enough To Say All That [Expletive] [Expletive] And Really Mean It. Seriously! When we get in front of a jury, no one is ever going to believe that anyone could really mean all that stuff about selling the Senate seat. Nobody's that [expletive] stupid! Right?

7. I Was Chipping Golf Balls on My Lawn When the Calls Were Taped. It could not have been me on the phone selling the Senate seat, I was chipping golf balls on my lawn when several of the calls were recorded. Famous people do this all the time, when they are supposedly committing sensational crimes, I think.

6. The So-Called Sale of the Senate Seat Was a Victimless Crime. You know, like Spitzer. And my victimless crime would have saved the taxpayers money, by subsidizing my other campaigns. Something like that. We can work with this.

5. Col. Nathan Jessup Defense: You Want the Truth? You Can't Handle the Truth! My existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because, deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me in that Governor's office, you need me in that Governor's office. We use words like thing, [expletive], and golden. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent exercising power. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a public that rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very power that I exercise and then questions the manner in which I exercise it. I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

4. I Am So [Expletive] Innocent, You Won't [Expletive] Believe It! Tried this out at press conference. Could work. Still too close to "absolutely 100% not guilty." Get Ed to work on this.

3. Appoint Roland Burris To the Senate. This will expose my prosecution as a racist witch hunt -- [expletive], it already has! I'm not sure whether I'm more clever, or more cynical. (Throws back head and laughs maniacally.)

2. I Can't Be Corrupt, Everyone In Illinois Hates Me. Corrupt people do favors for their friends. I have none. My approval rating is [expletive] four percent or something. This must be good somehow. Ask Ed to work on this.

1. Hire the Lawyer For That Borat Guy. The guy in Borat did all kinds of [expletive] stuff, and he's even more popular now, and never had to go to jail or anything. Tell Ed to write to Borat guy's agent, find out who his lawyer is. Must be a [expletive] great lawyer.

Questions: The Happening Edition

Deadman — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 07:32:02 +0000

Just got done watching The Happening, written, directed and produced by M. Night Shyamalan, and felt the need to do a question column on it. Yes, they are mostly rhetorical.

1) The

2) Absolute

3) Worst

4) Major

5) Motion

6) Picture

7) In the

8) History of

9) American

10) Filmmaking

The New Democratic Majority, Part One: Barack Obama Redraws the Electoral Map

Articleman — Sat, 03 Jan 2009 03:42:00 +0000

Barack Obama's inauguration later this month is the signal moment in a realignment that has taken place in American politics -- a political realignment Obama both helped to forge and rode to a seven-point victory over John McCain. Yet this realignment is much more than one election of one President. It is a sign of this realignment that the Democratic Party in 2008 won more votes for its Presidential candidate for the fourth time in the last five elections. While most visible at the Presidential level, this realignment is also deeply anchored in party identifications, in state Congressional delegations, in statewide election results, and most deeply, in America's changing issue and demographic landscapes that create long-term structural advantages for Democratic candidates and causes. This piece is the first in an in-depth series that examines the wide-ranging and potentially long-lasting realignment in which Democrats form a new American majority. Because this change is most visible in the recent Presidential election, I start there.

The Obama Effect and Realignment

The recent Presidential election results show two things: a rising tide that lifted all Democratic boats, and also, the specific effect Obama's candidacy had above and beyond that tide. To understand the latter (Obama's marginal contribution), you need first to measure the former (the baseline of Democratic improvement from 2004 to 2008). While John Kerry lost the Presidential popular vote to George Bush by 2.4%, Barack Obama won the Presidential popular vote by 7.2%, a margin of 52.9%-45.7%. Taking the Democratic ticket's 9.6% improvement from 2004 to 2008 as the baseline, the Obama/Biden ticket beat that improvement handily in a number of states. As I have in prior posts, I will call that the Obama Effect. For example, a state moving from a 2 percentage point Kerry loss to a 12.6 percentage point Obama win (a 14.6 point improvement, 5 percent above the expected improvement of 9.6%) would have an Obama Effect (OE) of +5%, demonstrating that Obama's candidacy was particularly important in that state. Using this Obama Effect shows that Obama's contribution to the Democratic realignment occurred most obviously in three principal swaths: (1) solidifying the upper Midwest; (2) in the West and Great Plains, making the Democratic Party competitive where it wasn't competitive, and ascendant where it was roughly tied; and (3) improving Democratic performance in largely black states of the Eastern seaboard.

In the upper Midwest, Obama brought Indiana back into the Democratic column for the first times since 1964, turned Iowa (red in 2004) blue by a decisive margin. The numbers show a positive Obama Effect in five of these six states, and a significant one in four of the six.

State 04 Vote R D 08 Vote R D Marginal Change Obama Effect

Indiana 59.9 39.3 49.0 49.9 (-20.6 to +0.9) +21.5 OE +11.9

Illinois 44.5 54.8 36.9 61.8 (+10.3 to +24.9) +14.6 OE +5.0

Wisconsin 49.4 49.7 56.3 42.4 (+0.3 to +13.9) +13.6 OE +4.0

Michigan 47.8 51.2 40.9 57.4 (+3.4 to +16.5) +13.1 OE +3.5

Iowa 49.9 49.3 44.7 54.0 (-.6 to +9.3) +9.9 OE +.3

Minnesota 48.0 51.5 44.0 54.2 (+3.5 to +10.2) +6.7 OE -2.9

While Minnesota alone showed a negative Obama Effect, with an improvement of less than 9.6% from 2004 to 2008, it is important to remember that McCain invested far more in Minnesota than did Obama. Obama clearly could have run up the score there if desired; the state is thus even safer blue than his 10.2% margin of victory indicates. Just as importantly, reasonably popular Republican incumbent Senator Norm Coleman was apparently unseated in Minnesota by controversial challenger Al Franken, leaving the GOP with only two Senators among these six states. The eye-popping margins among five of these six states amount to a blue tide.

In the southwest, Obama turned blue three increasingly Hispanic states that had voted for Bush in 2004 (Colorado, New Mexico, and Nevada) by massive infusions of volunteer time, advertising money, and did so by improving on John Kerry's showings by 13 to 15 percent, racking up large Obama Effects:

State 04 Vote R D 08 Vote R D Marginal Change Obama Effect

New Mexico 49.8 49.0 42.0 56.7 (-0.8 to +14.7) +15.5 OE +5.9

Nevada 50.7 48.1 42.7 55.1 (-2.6 to +12.4) +15.0 OE +5.4

Colorado 51.7 47.0 44.9 53.5 (-4.7 to +8.6) +13.3 OE +3.7

Meanwhile, in the South and mid-Atlantic, the Obama Effect was pronounced. There, the coalition of energized and nearly unanimous black voters, young voters, white liberals, and white working class voters concerned about the economy turned Virginia blue for the first time since 1964, North Carolina blue for the first time since 1976, put Maryland (blue since 1988) into blowout territory, and brought Georgia from a brutal 16.6 point loss to a respectable 5.2 point defeat. Here are the data:

State 04 Vote R D 08 Vote R D Marginal Change Obama Effect

Virginia 53.8 45.6 46.4 52.7 (-8.2 to +6.3) +14.5 OE +4.9

N. Carolina 56.1 43.6 49.5 49.9 (-12.5 to +0.4) +12.9 OE +3.3

Maryland 43.0 56.0 36.8 61.9 (+13.0 to +25.1) +12.1 OE +2.5

Georgia 58.0 41.4 47.0 52.2 (-16.6 to -5.2) +11.4 OE +1.8

The Obama Effect suggests we will be talking about Obama voters much as we did Reagan Democrats or Clinton Democrats (the lured back Reagan folk) for years to come. But so much of the 2008 election was structural and not personal.

The Rising Tide: 246-252 EVs, and Four Regional Bulwarks, Lie Beyond Republican Reach

While we deservedly focus on the the changes Obama wrought in the electoral map, the base of his win was the rising Democratic tide. Obama won 255 electoral votes (EVs) in states he won by 10 points or more -- and 245 of these electoral votes came from states won by the Democratic candidate in each of the last five elections, New Mexico and Nevada being the two exceptions with 5 EVs each. While these Obama states will lose in the 2010 census a net of 3-9 EV's per Nate Silver's estimate, that still leaves 246-252 electoral votes that are appear securely Democratic in even reasonably competitive elections. Though Democrats lamented in 2004 and 2008 the need to hit a "triple bank shot" among Florida, Ohio, and Michigan to win the White House, the reality is quite the contrary: the Democratic Party starts off very near victory, given the electoral votes reposed in four regional bulwarks, three of which are hostile to Republicans, and one of which is (merely) very inhospitable to them.

Hostile are the 77 EVs of the Pacific Rim, including Washington and Oregon that went for Obama by 17 and 16 respectively, California by 26, and Hawaii by 46. None of these four states has voted Republican since 1984, except for California, which tipped very narrowly for Bush over Dukakis in 1988, when Bush won nationally by eight. All four states now have two Democratic Senators, with the defeat of Gordon Smith in Oregon. Color them blue. Likewise hostile are the 30 EVs of New England other than New Hampshire. Maine, Vermont and Connecticut have gone Democratic (14 EVs between them) from 1992 to the present. Just as staunchly Democratic, Rhode Island and Massachusetts had turned blue in each Presidential tilt from 1988 to the present. No better for the GOP are the 80 midAtlantic EVs distributed from New York through Maryland: New Jersey, Maryland, Pennsylvania, and Delaware have gone Democratic in Presidential elections from 1992 to the present, New York since 1988, and DC since 1964.

Merely very inhospitable to the GOP are the 58 EVs of the upper Midwest, based upon periodically close margins in Minnesota, Michigan, and Wisconsin, though each delivered for Obama in double digits. Minnesota has voted for Democratic Presidential candidates from 1976 to the present, voting in the last three elections by 2 percent, 6 percent, and 2.5 percent more than the national Democratic totals. Wisconsin has gone blue from 1988 to the present, but went for Gore and Kerry by two-tenths and four-tenths of one percent before Obama's fourteen point win. Michigan has been more securely Democratic, running five points ahead of the national average in favor of Gore and Kerry before delivering a seventeen point win to Obama. McCain's message to Michigan voters in the 2008 primary that Michigan jobs were not coming back and his announced withdrawal from Michigan, in addition to Republican opposition to the auto bailout, appear to have made the state more secure in the near term. Most reliable in this group is Illinois which, like California, almost went for Dukakis, and has been blue ever since, lately by enormous margins.

Again, there are 245 EVs won by the Democrats in the last five elections, to which Obama added decisive wins in Nevada and New Mexico, states increasingly Hispanic and in Nevada's case, increasingly settled and canvassed by denizens of the core state of the Democratic majority -- California. This leads us to the GOP's electoral quandary.

The GOP's Electoral Dilemma: A Series of Regional Problems

Let's assume that the Democratic base described above amounts to 249 EVs. That means a Democrat need capture only 21 more EVs to win the Presidency. The GOP essentially must run the table, a daunting task given the diversity of the states it must defend.

Problem No. 1: Democratic Base + Florida = GOP Loss. Florida, won by Clinton twice and Obama once and counting, will have 28 or 29 EVs after the next census, more than enough to tip the balance when added to the Democratic base. The GOP therefore must win it even to have a chance.

Problem No. 2: Iowa and New Hampshire Are Really Part of the Democratic Base. I owa, which will have 6 EVs after 2010, voted decisively for Obama (54.0 to 44.7), and voted for Kerry and Obama by about 1.8% more than the national trend in both cases, giving the state a blue lean, and showing its strong winnability. New Hampshire's 4 EVs have departed from the Democratic fold only once in the last five Presidential election cycles, very narrowly tipping to Bush over Gore in 2000, and went for Obama by 9.5 points, displaying 3 and 2 point blue leans in the past two elections. This puts the Democratic base at 259 EVs, 10 short of the Presidency, assuming continued Democratic control of 26 House delegations.

Problem No. 3: The GOP Is Vulnerable To Any Southern Democrat. A Democrat from the South who can hold the above-mentioned base states need only deliver one of five southern states to win the Presidency: Florida (see Problem No. 1), North Carolina (15 EVs), Georgia (15 EVs), Virginia (13 EVs), Tennessee (11 EVs). Likewise, a Democrat from the North who particularly excites African-American voters has a great shot at these states -- as evidenced by the fact that Barack Obama won three of the five.

Problem No. 4: The GOP Is Vulnerable To Any Western Democrat. A Democrat from the West who can hold the above-mentioned base states can win the Presidency by winning Arizona (12 EVs after 2010), or Colorado (9 EVs) and one more EV.

You get the idea. Ideology aside, this is not a chess game in which you'd like the other side's pieces and position.

A Strong Base, A Redrawn Map: One Face of the New Democratic Majority

Barack Obama's redrawing of the electoral map, fighting and winning on the new battlegrounds of Nevada, Colorado, Indiana, Virginia, and North Carolina, overlaid onto the Democratic Party's strong national electoral base, spelled decisive victory, and underscored the Republican electoral quandary. Obama's unique skills, his rhetorical vision of a less partisan, more united America, and his enormous current popularity (73% approval, per Gallup) all carry within them the seeds of a greater and higher electoral ascent. Yet Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden, or Bill Richardson likely would have won this -- for Democrats -- almost uniquely winnable election. The election's results nonetheless confirm the Democrats' structural advantage in Presidential elections: an electoral base of states voting blue in unison since 1992 nearly large enough to deliver victory on their own, with many alternate paths to the few additional electoral votes needed.

While winning the Presidency is a sign of the health of a national party, the next two posts in this series analyze two equally important facets of the Democratic Party's new eminence: how changing party affiliations coupled with state and local election results, and ultimately the changing demography and issue frames of our time, are part of the rise of the new Democratic majority.

Review: Doubt is Without Question the Best Movie I Saw in 2008

Orlando — Fri, 02 Jan 2009 14:28:54 +0000

It seems somewhat unnecessary to rave about a Meryl Streep performance. Ditto with Philip Seymour Hoffman. But in Doubt, they’ve both turned in flawless performances that left me with my jaw on the floor. The two screen giants are joined by Amy Adams. I’ve never seen Adams in a dramatic role before and I was impressed. In Doubt she more than holds her own.

The film is set in 1964 at St. Nicholas Catholic school and parish in the Bronx. It opens with Father Flynn, played by Hoffman, delivering a sermon on doubt. He weaves in a reference to JFK’s assassination, so we can get a feel for what decade we’re in, and then he preaches that everyone has doubts, and it is our doubts that bond us together. He doesn’t elaborate much into those doubts but it’s clear he’s not just talking about faith.

And with that, the movie is off. Streep plays Sister Aloysius, the overly-strict principal of St. Nicholas school. Sister Aloysius is the kind of nun that non-Catholics like me imagine when hearing stories about the old-school sisters. She roams the aisles during the church service, giving hard looks and harder smacks to any child not paying appropriate attention. And when she enters the classroom to observe Adams as Sister James, the entire theater tenses, along with Sister James and her students.

In the eyes of Sister Aloysius, Father Flynn is too chummy with the students and their churchgoing parents. In Father Flynn’s opinion, Sister Aloysius is stuck in the past and needs to change the way she relates to keep up with rapidly changing times. Sister James is stuck in the middle, trying to be a good nun but temperamentally unable to be as cruel to the students as Sister Aloysius seems to demand.

In what is probably the best performance of the movie, Viola Davis appears in one scene as Mrs. Miller, the mother of the school’s first African American student, Donald, who has developed an uncomfortably close relationship with Father Flynn.

There are no fancy costumes in Doubt, no special effects, and the setting is pure grit, as one would expect of the Bronx in 1964, where the predominantly working-class and Irish families send their children to St. Nicholas for a spare-the-rod education. But the tension in the faces of the actors leaves you on the edge of your seat throughout. Watchers of Doubt are not just witnesses as the plot unfolds, but participants, first certain that they know what is happening, and then doubting everything they think they know.

If you are still trying to decide which movie to see this weekend, pick Doubt. You won’t be disappointed.

Orlando’s rating: ♀♀♀♀♀