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Pope John Paul II's final miracle - making child molestation seem like no big deal
by William K. Wolfrum 1/19/2011 - 1:28 pm
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VATICAN - Pope John Paul II will be beatified on May 1, after Vatican officials judged that the deceased pontiff's ability to make child molestation and sexual abuse charges seem like no big deal was officially a miracle.
"You'd think people would care that the Pope knew full well that Catholic priests who were molesting kids were protected," said Vatican spokesman Father Oliver O'Grady."Turns out, no one seems to care. It's a miracle!"
Many credit both John Paul II and current Pope Benedict XVI with helping to turn things around for the Catholic Church, which had faced a public relations nightmare after thousands of people had come forward claiming Catholic priests had molested them as children. The two pontiffs worked overtime to squash and cover up many of these claims, as well as to make pedophilia seem akin to a speeding ticket.
"Take it from me, I would have thought that molesting hundreds of vulnerable children would be a big problem, both for me and the Catholic church," said Cardinal Roger Mahony. "Turns out, not so much."
Those seeking sainthood for John Paul II have mounted a hard campaign to enhance the former Pope's reputation. The final blow came recently, when they convinced Catholic followers that pedophilia was the in thing in the 1970s.
"Everyone was doing it, man," said O'Grady. "It was the scene."
Once beatified, John Paul II will become known as the Patron Saint of Pedophiles. He will be the first new saint since he himself beatified Saint Mother Teresa, who is now the Patron Saint of Condoms Will Give You AIDS.
--WKW
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Conversations with suicide bombers
By Elizabeth Weingarten, ForeignPolicy.com, May 23, 2012
It was 2009 in Peshawar, Pakistan, and Mossarat Qadeem was sitting on the floor of a house with about a dozen young Pakistani men -- some of whom had nearly become suicide bombers. Qadeem's goal: to undo the destructive brainwashing of the al-Qaeda and Taliban teachers who trained them in extremism, in part by asking the students to narrate their life stories.
"We were handling one of the boys, and he just came, put his head here in my lap, and he started crying and weeping," Qadeem recalls. "I was taken aback. It is very unnatural in my country that a man that tall can just sit at your feet and put his head here. [The other men] were all crying with him, and I was looking at him, and thinking, ‘my God.'"
All in a day's work for Qadeem. She's the national coordinator of Aman-o-Nisa, a coalition of Pakistani women that convened in October 2011 to combat violent extremism in Pakistan at the grassroots level. [....]
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For Native American Women, Scourge of Rape, Rare Justice
The issue of sexual assaults on American Indian women has become one of the major sources of discord in the current debate between the White House and the House of Representatives over the latest reauthorization of the landmark Violence Against Women Act of 1994.
.......
“We should never have a woman come into the office saying, ‘I need to learn more about Plan B for when my daughter gets raped,’ ” said Charon Asetoyer, a women’s health advocate on the Yankton Sioux Reservation in South Dakota, referring to the morning-after pill. “That’s what’s so frightening — that it’s more expected than unexpected. It has become a norm for young women.”
The difficulties facing American Indian women who have been raped are myriad, and include a shortage of sexual assault kits at Indian Health Service hospitals, where there is also a lack of access to birth control and sexually transmitted disease testing. There are also too few nurses trained to perform rape examinations, which are generally necessary to bring cases to trial.
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Doctor Who Helped Find Bin Laden Given Jail Term (for...
By Ismail Kahn, New York Times, May 23/24, 2012
PESHAWAR, Pakistan — A Pakistani doctor who helped the Central Intelligence Agency pin down Osama bin Laden's location under cover of a vaccination drive was convicted on Wednesday of treason and sentenced to 33 years in prison, a senior official in Pakistan said.
A tribal court here in northwestern Pakistan found the doctor, Shakil Afridi, guilty of acting against the state, said Mutahir Zeb Khan, the administrator for the Khyber tribal region [....]
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Russia lawmakers advance bill on penalties for protesters
By Sergei L. Loiko, Los Angeles Times, May 23, 2012
MOSCOW — Stiff new penalties aimed at opposition protesters were given preliminary approval Tuesday by Russian lawmakers loyal to President Vladimir Putin, the target of mass rallies and demonstrations before his March election victory.
The bill, which opposition parliament members termed draconian and protested by threatening to file out of a legislative session, calls for fines of up to $50,000 and up to 200 hours of community service for organizers of rallies and demonstrations that grow violent or exceed the approved number of participants.
The sanctions were approved on first reading by parliament's lower house, which is controlled by Putin's United Russia party. They mark a return by the Kremlin to a tough stance against critics after concessions during the recent election campaign [...]
Also see:
Russians back Putin, strong leadership
Washington Post, May 22, 2012A Pew survey of 1,000 Russians found that President Vladimir Putin is well-liked by more than 70 percent of citizens, especially older adults.
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In Cuba, Mystery Shrouds the Fate of an Undersea Internet...
Associated Press, May 21, 2012
HAVANA — It was all sunshine, smiles and celebratory speeches as officials marked the arrival of an undersea fiber-optic cable they promised would end Cuba's Internet isolation and boost web capacity 3,000-fold. Even a retired Fidel Castro had hailed the dawn of a new cyber-age on the island.
More than a year after the February 2011 ceremony on Siboney Beach in eastern Cuba, and 10 months after the system was supposed to have gone online, the government never mentions the cable anymore, and Internet here remains the slowest in the hemisphere. People talk quietly about embezzlement torpedoing the project and the arrest of more than a half-dozen senior telecom officials.
Perhaps most maddening, nobody has explained what happened to the much-ballyhooed $70 million project....
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So, can we prosecute any of these dirtbags already?
Also, it would seem that this 2002 episode of South Park was eerily prescient.
The real miracle will be an updated loaves and fishes, where the disembodied pontiff causes the gold and silver in the vatican's collections to mysteriously multiply out of all measure, when someone finally brings this bunch of racketeers to heel and imputes liability from the agents to the principal.
Nothing puts this rehabilitated trial lawyer at risk of a relapse like the prospect of "doing well by doing good...."
You know I wrote them for some beatification and they said stick it!
First, I would have to be dead for chrissakes.
Now how am I going to get beatified, how in the hell can I get my request in if I have to be dead first?
This beatification stuff is bullshite!!
Deaden, therefore, YOUR body members. . . (Colossians 3:5)
One wonders, who can be beatified?
Beats me.
No, that will prevent member-deadening...
Hey! Day and I treasure our members...*deaden your own if you like (I won't reiterate a prior reference which caused AT to rebuke me as juvenile...)
*As (I think it was Shakespeare who said it, maybe not...) they say, "time heals all wounds and deadens all members..."
.“And if ever your hand makes you stumble, ...... 45 And if your foot makes you stumble, cut it off; ........And if your eye makes you stumble, throw it away; it is finer for you to enter one-eyed into the kingdom of God than with two eyes to be pitched into Ge·hen′na. . .
.“And if ever your hand makes you stumble
Can't I just use depilatory once a week?
throw it away
Don't you think "pluck it out" as more of a ring to it?
Cut it out
No man, if I stop the depilatory I'll have to learn how to braid...;
how to braid...;
which is really hard with only one hand...
Take care jolly, I have to go .
I looked up the word you used the other day something about authority, not much for me to reflect upon, Only about Cyrus,
maybe when this post is a few days old and below the crease, maybe you could return and explain the term and it's application? Direct it to me
I might need more of a lead to find it...we'll see. ciao
strictly speaking (don't try this at home, kids) I believe that the architecture of the eye socket renders nugatory any need for a sharp instrument-I'm given to understand (we'll have to ask a gouging expert like Destor) that thumbs do just fine.
I've got blisters on my fingers and calluses on my knuckles!
I think the Beatles said that....
I mean, is there a prohibition of using logical thinking in these verses?.
ie: The cure for stumbling is this: cut off your hand (?), or your foot (?), or throw away your eye(?). Brilliant
Which will leave you fit only for pushinhg yourself around on a skateboard...I knew a guy in this condition once, but he stepped on a landmine in Nam...I don't think he would have done it to himself.
Of course, per contra, Oedipus.
It is figurative.
To illustrate the “eye,” is what you focus with, focusing your attention on something. The hand; what you do with your hands, good deeds or bad.
Because they failed to “ walk with god” they stumbled, tripped up, by their lust
If you review the preceding verses, it warned those pedophile priests (Mark 9:42) . . .But whoever stumbles one of these little ones that believe, it would be finer for him if a millstone such as is turned by an ass were put around his neck and he were actually pitched into the sea.
The pedophile Priests would have known this scripture and understood the figurative nature, even if you don’t. The pedophiles knew the importance of making sure they didn’t stumble a little one.
These pedophile priests knew what to do. They knew their choices
There are metaphors within metaphors. For the priests, the metaphor was fairly clear: if there was no other way to stop their depravity, they should have voluntarily undergone chemical castration. (I'm not a psychiatrist, but my understanding is that this helps cure sexual desires, although I expect it's not a perfect cure.) For the church, however, there's a metaphor on top of that metaphor - that of its members being like body parts. They should've "cut off" the priests who were engaging in these acts. (NB: I expect we're in complete agreement on this, so don't take this any other way than as commentary.)
Will he be the patron saint of wolves I wonder ?
Wolves in sheep's clothing of course!
And all this time I thought "spare the rod, spoil the child" was about beating kids, I guess I misunderstood which "rod" they were refering to
And all this time I thought "spare the rod, spoil the child" was about beating kids, I guess I misunderstood which "rod" they were refering to