Relax! It's in the Bag!

    Oh yeah, baby! It's Miller Time! Take it from someone who knows, we can count on Obama winning this election. It's a done deal just waiting for the paperwork to come back! Pesky panickers have whined about Obama's lackluster poll numbers, his defensive stump speeches and anemic ads. But what bearing could those things possibly have on a foregone conclusion? Gimme a break! We all know McCain is a lying idiot and Palin is just an empty parka. (Sometimes I wonder how people like that can get elected over and over, but there is such a thing as "dumb" luck, right? Not this time!) They fight dirty and deserve to lose, so of course America will line up behind Bashing Barack and Joltin' Joe! Look how McCain runs his campaign, throwing shit in the air as if Obama can't incinerate it with a single glance. Come on, are they crazy or what? Do they seriously think voters will be swayed by lies just because the media repeats them 24/7 and then picks up the next lie? Why would Obama want to fight back against that? His campaign can't get its hands dirty just to win a silly election! Better for him to lay low and speak in the humble terms we all respect him for. Sooner or later, the press will come around anyway or voters will get tired of listening to McCain's negative messages. Those kinds of ads and buzz words just don't work, as anyone in politics will tell you. This is a new day and Obama is invincible! After all, dirty tricks have never worked before against the Democrats and Barack Obama is one awesome candidate. So let's just blog at a comfortable pace for a few more weeks, because it's all on us now. Obama and Biden are on cruise control and in much better communication with God than Sarah Palin ever will be. In a few weeks, we'll all party like it's 2009! Obama is the Man with the Plan, and he's made of Teflon! Nothing can stick. Not Rev. Wright. Not Bill Ayers. Not "elitist" or "just words" or "empty suit" or weird debate questions from Charlie Gibson! Just look how Obama is pulling even in the polls. How can anyone not see his victory is written in the stars, now that the conventions are over? Man, I can't wait until those dumb "concern Obama supporters" eat their words when his numbers start creeping past the 60 percent mark against Ol' Johnny Mac and Sarah Barracuda. Ha! We're going to cream that lame ticket. We've had 19 months of this campaign already, and people will definitely run screaming from the GOP to the Dems in the next 55 days or so. I just know it. Look! See? His poll numbers just shot up a point! Somebody oxygenate me! Yeeeeee-ha!

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