Cleveland: Keeping Christmas at Home
Ramona: The War on Happy Holidays
Because of Obama's terrible debate performance we are staring a Romney presidency in the face and I am trying to come to terms with the possibility that after living through Bush/Cheney, Mitt Romney's mug will be on the T.V. screen for eight years. My gut is so sore from thinking about a failed Obama and a new Romney presidency that my health may be failing. So I am changing gears and adjusting. Certainly I will cancel my cable subscription. I am also threatening to move to Canada but I already have a house an hour from the border so I'm not sure that moving sixty miles North achieves all that much.
My kids are employed in my company and will be voting for Mitt and Todd Akin so I am thinking about calling them after the election: "You guys are so smart as to vote for Romney. That's good. Be assured that here's no connection here but I've listed the company with a business broker and will sell on the first offer. By the way have a nice the rest of your life, especially under Romney and Akin. And I can't help it but if the new owner fires you, be sure you don't let your health insurance lapse while you are looking for new jobs."
As I am writing this, a thought has come into my head and correspondingly the pains in my alimentary tract have subsided---that is, what's the worst that can happen under a Romney administration?
We get into a land war with Iran? Probably won't happen. Capital gains taxes are eliminated? That's fine with me, I won't have to pay the tax when I sell my company and that's enough money to buy myself a large R.V. and a thirty foot fishing boat. If my kids ever find work I might relent and visit them.
And what about my IRA? After looking at the polls today and seeing that Romney will win I am selling the stocks in my IRA and going to cash. Why? Because if Romney raises taxes, he will lose the Tea Party Congress in 2014 so he will implement his plan to cut taxes while reducing government services, thereby bringing us into a double dip recession. The Congress may still shift in 2014 but it will all be cleaned up by 2016, the Democrats will take the blame and Romney will be re-elected. Well, Hillary might run but by then voter ID laws will have been endorsed by the Supreme Court and she will lose.
Even though Romney's long term plan is to trash Medicare and give it to the private health insurance industry, it most likely won't effect me because if he implements vouchers before 2016 he won't be re-elected---that is, within six weeks of Romney's election seniors will realize that they confused their excitement about Romney's debate performance with where their bread is buttered and they will march on Washington to prevent vouchers.
But when Romney does implement vouchers in a second term, it will take another five or ten years to fully destroy Medicare and by then---statistically---I will be on another planet. Which brings me to religion and women's rights.
About religion---I'm not going to beat myself up just because Christians themselves who can't sell their programs to the citizenry on the merits have found a way to have the government implement their religious views by electing Republicans. Why should I care about government selling religion? Does it really affect me? Even if I'm forced to attend church, I can just do what I did so many years ago, sit there and daydream while I ignore the calumny being spewed forth from the pulpit. Did I mention women's rights?
Well, in order to get my health back and even be able to watch T.V. on occasion, I'm throwing women's rights under the bus. Even though a Romney presidency means several more conservative votes on the Supreme Court and a 100% chance that Roe vs. Wade will be overturned I realize that women's rights really don't concern me. I've rationalized all the other downsides to a Romney presidency and have come to terms because, in fact, I would be better off financially under Romney---especially because I will be playing the double dip recession correctly. And screw my employees, all of whom will most likely vote for Romney.
Something I did care about---women's rights---I now realize was just a faux opinion, a kind of projection resulting from a misplaced sense of my own interests. And the truth is, I have to feel this way in order to accept the real possibility of a Romney presidency. I'm sorry, women, but I need to preserve my health and my sanity---both of which have suffered tremendously since that terrible and disheartening debate last week, which most likely has ushered in---a Romney Presidency. Now that doesn't sound so bad, does it?
So that's my feel-better-now-that-Obama-has-thrown-the-election-blog post. But Todd Akin, the Senator from Missouri said it much better than me:
"When legitimate rape is inevitable, just shut down."