Mr. Smith: Friday at the Haikulodeon
Maiello: Brexit is Good
The Resurrection of Lazarus, painting by Leon Bonnat, France, 1857
Televangelist Pat Robertson explained on Wednesday that God had empowered him to create the Christian Broadcasting Network (CBN) "to reaffirm His claim over this land."
In a speech marking CBN's annual "Week of Prayer," the network founder told a group of followers about how the Jamestown settlers had claimed the land for God by planting a cross at Cape Henry -- and then God later transferred that "holiness" to him to build CBN.
"I don’t care what the liberals have to say about this, America started as a Christian nation, it didn’t start as a heathen nation, it belongs to Jesus Christ, it’s his, it’s his country," Robertson opined. "What we need to do on a day like this is to reaffirm his claim over this land."
"We went down and had a celebration some years ago and we had folks dressed in costumes of various countries and areas of the world and they symbolically brought from a ship a 7-foot oak cross and we laid our hands on it and prayed, and I have experienced the anointing of the Lord on a number of occasions with miracles and thousands of people coming to the Lord, but I never had anything like what I experienced that day."
I mostly think I am above it all. Probably because when reality sinks in I realize I am beneath it all.
Anyway, I would proffer that I do not watch these living dead films or vampire films (I swear there have been a hundred made and sold just in the last few years) because they lack true insight, they lack any scientific basis and they tend to underline some human need for a year long Halloween celebration!
So, and remember I am always three years late on these new fads, I see some zombie movie with Woody Harrelson with Bill Murray as a guest star.
I am laughing and appreciating the experience and I fall asleep.
Well I had the worst nightmare about Zombies, nothing I have ever experienced before and I awaken in a fearful sweat.
You see, I do not ignore popular fads like zombie movies on some intellectual basis.
Deep down I know they SCARE THE EVER LOVIN' SHITE OUT OF ME!
Oh this is nothing new you might say.
Hell we had movies concerning the living dead since Nosferatu in the '20's and Bela in the 30's.....
Dead people are dead. The bodies of the dead reach rigor mortis within hours of earthly departure; morticians fill the us dead folks with chemicals so that we might look nicer at the wake; my friends from yesterday told me of bloated bodies on the battlefield; and I really have not been invited to lunch by Gloria Swanson lately!
I went to my first wake when I was six. One of my cousins had died in an auto accident.
I was twelve when I repeated my appearance at this rite following the death of my father.
I will admit that ole Dad would visit me in my dreams from time to time up until I had reached the age of 26 when my daughter was born.
I don't really know why; except that I had become Dad!
And I have never dreamt of him again since that glorious day in 1976!
Ghosts of the past that terrorize us become metaphors that demonstrate some psychological issues; at least that is what I believe.
And we all suffer from ethereal demons appearing out of nowhere from time to time; we just know enough to refrain from discussing these experiences with our corporate shrink!
As a child I witnessed those propaganda films of the 50's and 60's involving recreations of the Nagasaki Holocaust along with scenes of children hiding underneath their desks.
I recall no, absolutely no, dreams about the ultimate destruction of America by atomic bombs!
I would leave school on the day of those presentations of terrible films and go riding my bike with my friends!
Maybe as a 6-year-old, I just figured if Jackie Gleason and Lucy were not worried about Armageddon, why should I?
Now we have several folks who would send us demons in our dreams for their own personal aggrandizement.
Why I began this blog with words straight from Satan's mouth; Pat Robertson The Squinter Emeritus, was that I saw demons coming right out of my TV screen!
This mofo built up his goddamnable CBN into a multi-multi-million dollar operation by begging his viewers for money: pretending to help some woman in Pittsburg who claimed to have cancer through prayer and squinting (I mean you have to squint real hard to help this poor lady as well as sending in your check) and ended up with 90 mill in his pocket.
All from a tax deductible charity organization (as Dylan might point out).
And this prick brags about how he won all this money from Christ's own hands for his fervent belief in the deity of the New Testament (I am still searching for his fervent belief in the Old Testament where he found most of his beliefs)!
Cheney told us that if Obama were made President, we would surely be attacked once again by the forces of evil even though we have not been attacked by the forces of evil since he was in charge of protecting us from the forces of evil (whilst the POTUS was busy playing golf and weeding his ranch).
Let us pray (thought dicky c as he made this prognostication!)
Cheney would have never have been so elated than to see our nation attacked by infidels just as the repubs would have never been so elated as to see our economy lose another ten million jobs due to the ineptitude of w's administration!)
Now Romney must attach himself to other zombie believers (well, people who pretend to be believers anyway for effect).
It is bad enough that traitors like Allen West would espouse this new claim that communist zombies are about to attack and eat us all.
Romney would tell us that zombies are eating 400,000 jobs a month and those zombies are led by the chief zombie, Barack Hussein Obama!
Santorum would tell us that homo-zombies are eating the very fabric of our society each and every day by fucking dogs or being gay.
Ron Paul would tell us that gold-shunning zombies are eating up all of this nation's wealth and he is FEDUP.
Repub legislatures all over this land would tell us that zombie proned Planned Parenthood is plotting to take all of our babies AWAY.
Boehner would tell us that the zombies are planning to do away with American Motherhood.
American Renaissance would tell us that Negro-Zombies are taking America to the fifth level of Dante's Hell.
Eric Cantor would tell us of the welfare zombies who would eat us all.
(actually I feel that the entire food stamp program could save us from such a result!)
Senator Inhofe would tell us that the tree hugging zombies will eat up American Industry just for spite!
Well you get the idea.
I am educated with two college degrees and much reading.
And yet zombies scare the shite out of me; no kidding!
And yet I managed as a child to escape nightmares of flesh eating atom bombs by the age of 6!