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    BREAKING -- CHILE TO HALT RESCUE OF MINERS ONLY ONE METER AWAY FROM THEM

    By CVille Dem on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 8:14am |

    Jesus Ochoa reluctantly announced that rescue efforts will be terminated due to the fact that three of the 33 trapped miners had not paid 75 pesos for "Rescue Insurance." When asked about the other 30 miners who had paid up, Ochoa responded that it was a tough call, but a necessary one.

    Juanita Perez, mother of one of the miners, offered to pay the $150 pesos, but the mining officials refused on the grounds that nobody would ever pay insurance again if you just waited until you needed it! Tomas Alonzo, a reporter for !Mexico asked why they drilled to within a meter, and are just now calling off the rescue.

    Ochoa responded that they were so involved in trying to save the trapped men that they had not checked the ledger books, and if not for Senora Palin, (an ex-governor of a large but obscure state in northern Chile) finding out about these "freeloaders," as she refers to them, they still would be working on getting them out.

    International expert on fire-fighting, mining, gold, (and most other things), Senor Glenn Beck commented, "This is what happens when you try to get something for nothing."

    "Oh, said the world," and turned its eyes away.

    Comments

    An hour ago they reported on cable news that the miners are freed. The resue attempt worked!!

    Now I am free to laugh like hell.

    THIS IS ONE FUNNY POST. HAHAHAHAH


    by Richard Day on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 11:17am

    Well, almost freed. They could be aboveground in a couple of days if the rescuers decide they don't need to line the drill shaft. Given that a few miners have wives and mistresses on the surface who just found out about each other, a few may elect to stay where they are.


    by acanuck on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 3:22pm

    The NY Times has a diagram of the contraption they will use to get the mners out - one at a time it looks like.  There's even a way to detach the capsule and reverse it's travels back down in case the tube gets stuck.  My claustrophobia acts up just thinking about it.


    by AmiBlue on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 7:26pm

    Awesome.


    by Michael Maiello on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 12:01pm

    This is a totally justified move:

    (1) No one forced the miners to go done there, they are volunteers!

    (2) If they found gold, would they be giving it to me?

    (3) Who knows if they are really trapped, it could be a ploy to get on TeeVee!

    (4) Any fool with a shovel could dig a hole in a copycat incident, which would raise my taxes!

    (5) What are 33 guys doing down there anyway? Has Pat Robertson pontificated on the involvement of the Almighty here?

     


    by NCD on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 12:25pm

    I think they are all gay. Gay miners!!! Gay miners getting tax dollars!!!

    All those men hiding in a hole like that.

    That's not right.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSMHk4Q29qg&feature=related

     


    by Richard Day on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 12:35pm

    Ii didn't think of that aspect, DD. Gay miners. It really must be all their fault. That clip was great, BTW. PS. I didn't post this until I heard the good news that they were just a meter away from them. So nice to hear a good story in the midst of all the awfulness everywhere. I am in Richmond, VA right now and there are Eric Cantor for Congress signs everywhere Yuk!

    by CVille Dem on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 12:45pm

    Glad you are as enraged as me about this questionable waste of taxpayer money, I am heading to the mall where no one wastes money and the temperature is always the same!


    by NCD on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 2:39pm

    Is that the mall, NCD, where, as GK will have it: "all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children are above average"?

    Excellent satire, C'Ville. Thanks for the break.


    by wws on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 2:55pm

    In the mean time, back in the good ol' USA, we are fine with fire departments letting houses burn down if the owners didn't Pay their $75.  Dogs  &  cats dead.  Would they have done the same thing if humans had been in the house?  It hardly matters.  It was a totally sick, selfish, and disgusting event.


    by CVille Dem on Sat, 10/09/2010 - 6:55pm

    Time to switch places and gush over CVille ;) Very funny stuff.


    by William K. Wolfrum on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 9:03am

    Thanks, Woolfrum! I consider that a real compliment!

    by CVille Dem on Sun, 10/10/2010 - 11:34am

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