Meanwhile back at Camelot...

The social season was upon the Royal Castle with a special dinner and entertainment.  Arthur was going to have to smile at people he could not stand. And bow to them and kiss their hands. Gwenivere was to his left, clad in a splendid array of satin and silk and gold leaf. Her two beautiful bunchins (Lancelot's pet name for mammary glands) were prominently displayed within the moral standards of the times, of course.

To the King's right, as always was Sir Bedivere.  Each guest was brought before the main table and introduced.

Sire, I present to you Le Roi Louis, of Northern France.

Very fine to meet you once again Leroy, and how are you this fine evening?

Leroy bowed and took his seat at the end of the grand table.

Sire, I present to you Lady Thatcher and Lord Thatcher of Foggy Bottom.

The King, held his frown to a minimum and smiled as the duo bowed, and the King graciously
kissed the lady's hand.

The Lady Thatcher began: Well things sure have changed around here.  There was a time when greater guests were invited than appear here tonight. Now mind me, I would be the last to criticize but....

The King, thinking: I could wait until she visited the lady's chamber pot and then have her kidnaped and taken to the dungeon, hard to hear anything from down there....

I was hoping that  your almost universal acclaim that your peasants would have found more respect for you, you know I saw those smelly peasants just outside the castle working on the moat.  We would never let those kind of peons work that close to the castle because they carry diseases and we would not have liked the blue bloods to catch those terrible diseases and besides......

Still thinking: I could just talk to my food taster, hell I have three of them now, and we might put something in her wine glass, if her husband drank out of it by accident he sure would never be missed and yet....

And we had real entertainment in my day, the best of the best were only asked here and in those days we did not tax the blue bloods so much and there was more money available for the important things in life like wine and like singers and bards and we had taste in those days, the best of foods only would touch our lips and special plate cutters were available so  the lady did not have to overly work her food on the plate before gently putting the sweet tastes in her mouth...

Still thinking: Back to the lady's chamber pot, hell we are working on the moat right now, they could just gag her and throw her in the moat with some weights tied to her big ugly feet or even her bigger and uglier head, jeez is she an ugly sort like a wicked witch or a wild boar-he did not like to think about boars anymore and every time he did he felt pain in his....

And in days of yore we would out source all this work that was normally done by the government directly and sure we would lose two or three hundred peasants a week; sure there were deaths but that was the fault of the independent contractors who of course suffered no liability because of important legislation that protected the independent contractors who were protecting our nation, because we all know that those with money and power are much more patriotic than those without because the rich and powerful have more of a stake in what is going on and besides we were trying to build a new world and that takes casualties, I mean what else are the peons there for anyway except to become casualties and they do not think or feel like we do anyway....

Still thinking: They would simply find her bloated unidentified body in the moat after it has all been drained the first part of next week, and no one would be able to identify it and no one would really care if they thought it was one of HER favorite peasants....

And our road program was going to destroy these ugly villages that were in the way, you know a line is theoretically the shortest distance between two points and these roads were going to be the best, we even had the idea of partially filling them with the peasants who died on the job, it seemed that the liquid of a corpse could help 'set' the road material so that.....

YOU WILL SHUT YOUR GOD DAMNABLE MOUTH RIGHT NOW, OR YOU WILL LOSE THAT BIG FAT HEAD OF YOURS, the King was kind of thinking out loud that time and the entire room gasped in fear and awe and the Thatchers were led to their place at the table.

These introductions usually took an hour. After that the King made sure he hit the ale rather hard, it took his anger away.

Tristan appeared with his lyre to begin the entertainment for the evening but this time Iseult appeared to sing a song along with his strumming for the regal crowd:

Gonna take a lotta love
To change the way things are
Gonna take a lotta love
And take a  lotta care
But if you're lookin for perfection
And no risk in our new deal
Go elsewhere for the freedom from all fears


We're  gonna build a brand new realm
Based on a brand new dream
We're gonna see a brand new day
Brought on by a brand new team
So if you are feeling like defecting
From the brand new way we feel
You do not merit  protection and you can flee
   

Gonna mean a whole new world
For folks both near and far
Gonna mean a whole new song
To show the way we are
So if you want to see some action
And you like our brand new plan
Just pray for our new nation and our new clan

Workin on a brand new way
For how the people fare
Hopin for a brand new day
Just cause we gotta care
So if you like the new direction
And you have something you can give
Roll up your sleeves and you can start to  live

I Gotta lotta love
Gotta lotta love
La La La La La La La La La
Ooh, Ooh


Gonna take a lotta love
To change the way things are.
It's gonna take a lotta love
Or we won't get too far
If you like our new direction
And you're brave enough try,
Our realm  needs participation from you and  I.
It's gonna take a lotta love
Or we won't get too far
Or we won't get too far
(Repeat to fade)

The crowd was astounded at the grace of Iseult and the brilliance of the greatest poet of the realm.

The revelry was written down as the best in years. There were jugglers and magicians and dancers an vixens. Not sure what a vixen is but it rhymes and everything. 

When all of a sudden, out of the crowd, arose a great clatter and three hungry giant rodents arose out of nowhere really.  They rushed the grand table and grabbed Lady Thatcher and ate her.

They then disappeared.  The King pronounced a quest for the angry hungry rodents.

Secretly he hoped they would never be found because he would be forced to give them a medal like that FBI guy with the slam dunk.

Meanwhile back to the bones as they say.....

Shiteface had another couple hours before he got to Camelot.

The bones were all loaded and he was sure that they represented his money ticket. He was not sure what a money ticket was but this guy kept talking about it in the public house a few nights ago. Shiteface was thinking maybe he could even get a new crew so that he would work on two different roads at once and then he could expand his butchery, all paid for by the Crown and then his children could move into a new hut. And he could expand his field and add some of this new wheat from Iberia and then......

 He was feeling better and better when just over the horizon....


A great dragon appeared. Sweeping across the field as if flying and running at the same time. Smoke and fire, fire and smoke. Fear almost overcame the Scottish road builder. But there was a sound arising from the rear more fearsome than the dragon's. The bones that he had had loaded on his carts began assembling. Rumble, tumble, what noise what a racket.  Then a song began as if brought down from heaven.

E-ze-kiel cried, "Dem dry bones!"
E-ze-kiel cried, "Dem dry bones!"
E-ze-kiel cried, "Dem dry bones!"
Oh hear the word of the Lord.

The foot bone con-nected to the (pause) leg-bone,
The leg bone connected to the (') knee bone,
The knee bone connected to the (') thigh bone,
The thigh bone connected to the (') back bone,
The back bone connected to the (') neck bone
The neck bone connected to the (') head bone
Oh hear the word of the Lord!

Dem bones, dem bones gon-na walk a-roun'
Dem bones, dem bones gon-na walk a-roun'
Dem bones, dem bones gonna walk aroun'
Oh hear the word of the Lord


The head-bone connected to the neck-bone,
the neck-bone connected to the back-bone
The backbone connected to the thigh-bone
the thighbone connected to the knee-bone
the kneebone connected to the leg bone
the leg bone connected to the foot bone
Oh hear the word of the Lord


All the bones assembled into this great giant. Giant what? Shiteface had no idea. But the monster went right for the dragon. The dragon blew fire at the new foe and the monster waited until the fire abated and attacked, stabbing the dragon in the neck and then again right between the eyes.

The dragon wriggled in pain and attempted yet again to maim the giant, but fell into a pile of scales. The monster headed west, toward the hinterlands.

Shiteface looked at his assistant and said:   This is just like one of those Japanese horror films.

His assistant looked at him in awe.  What exactly is a Japanese?

Never mind, get the other guys and pick up these scales. We are going back and use them on the road.  They will make a better mosaic.

The skeleton crew, so to speak, picked up the scales and off they were to repair more roads for the intercounty economy.