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Obama Bows Again!

by Genghis 11/14/2009 - 5:14 pm   |

Six months ago, I wrote a column decrying President Obama's compulsive bowing before foreign leaders and monarchs. After my editorial onslaught, the administration appeared to take note, and I thought that the matter resolved.

But now, as reported in the headline of the ever relevant Drudge Report, Obama is back to his old bowing games, shaming the nation with his obsessive genuflection. Here he is with Japan's Emperor Akihito, bowing almost to the ground like a shogun-era peasant before a guy whose dad bombed Pearl Harbor. Then he followed up the deep bow by jigglin' his noggin' like a drunken bobble-head to the Empress. These people don't even have an economy anymore!

President Obama, I deplore you! Stop this bowing immediately! Shake their hands, bear-hug them, grasp them by the buttocks and give them Eskimo kisses. You can even do the scary terrorist fist bump thing that you do with Michelle, but DO NOT BOW!

PS For those readers who have not already framed and memorized my original scathing editorial, I present it below in all it's bitter glory...

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You've no doubt seen the video in which Obama bowed meekly before King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia:

In and of itself, this servile gesture symbolizes the pathetic dependence of United States on the towel-headed terrorist who undermines our sovereignty by making us buy his oil. But this was not Obama's first offense. He also bowed before the Queen of England, the symbolic leader of the nation that once taxed our tea, press-ganged our soldiers, and quartered, yes quartered, its bayonet-wielding troops in our very bedrooms. Watch and weep for the glory of the nation:

What's next, serving tea to the Chinese? Cleaning the Indians' latrines? Lapdances for the Iranians? (Imagine how it would bolster Ahmenijhad's international credibility.) At this rate, our entire nation will soon be little more than a decrepit happy-ending massage joint on the outskirts of Winnipeg.

Alas, it was not as if we had no warning. Remember the way Obama turned down greasy hunks of meat during the primary? His pathetic bowling score? We should have known better. We should have seen Mr. Obama for the genuflecting pansy that he is and instead elected the Crown Royale quaffer or the grizzly bear DNA shouter or the other old guy who threw the big rock.

Too late for that now. But there is a solution. President Obama must be sent to Mancamp to learn the skills that made our nation the fearsome imperialists that we once were. He must learn to chug grease, bowl strikes or at least spares, and shoot his friends in the face without flinching. After a few weeks at Mancamp, our willowy, namby-pampy leader will be transformed into a large, bellowing ass-kicker who will make the world tremble with his rage. And the next time he confronts presumptuous foreign leaders, President Obama won't cringe in submission; he will project the power of the greatest nation in the world by vomiting in their laps.

This is they way real men consort with Saudi royalty:

The tradition of bowing in some Asian countries is akin to a handshake here. Everybody does it. When I lived in Korea, I bowed all the time. Not, multiple times in one meeting, like they do in Japan, but once, when you initially come into contact with someone, as is tradition in Korea. I didn't bow because I was showing my willingness to be subservient. I bowed because people bowed to me first, and, just as it's very difficult to refuse a handshake under all but the most extreme circumstances, it's hard not to return a gesture of respect when it is offered. Once you've got the hang of it, you sort of forget who's bowing first and you just do it, as you would a handshake.

I am pretty sure that Drudge and his minions at Fox can grasp this concept. But I'm less certain that a portion of their viewers, who have little to no knowledge of or interest in foreign culture, can understand it. So, as usual, the conservative media is manipulating their followers to score empty political points against a Democratic opponent. Or in other words, they're being assholes. What else is new?

by Orlando 11/15/2009 - 11:06 pm

Yes, well you're not the president of the U.S. are you? Those Asians are only trying to manipulate him into bowing by bowing first. Obama must have non-bowing balls of steal. If I were president, I wouldn't even shake foreign leaders' hands. They're just not on my level. If they were lucky, I'd wink at 'em.

by Genghis 11/16/2009 - 4:21 pm (re: Orlando)

Would you look deep into their eyes to see their souls?

by Orlando 11/16/2009 - 6:13 pm (re: Genghis)

Don't be stupid. You can't see souls. You smell 'em. Soul juice is excreted through the pits.

by Genghis 11/16/2009 - 6:26 pm (re: Orlando)

Presidents, currency, sodium.  What won't those Asians manipulate?

As far as balls of steal go, I'd say they belong to either Hank Paulson or, perhaps to a lesser extent, Bernie Madoff.

by DF 11/16/2009 - 10:38 pm (re: Genghis)

Must … fight … inner spelling Nazi …

*fails*

I was going to let it slide when Genghis said "balls of steal[sic]", but letting it slide twice is beyond my capabilities. Unless we're talking about theft, the word y'all are looking for is "steel".

by Nebton 11/17/2009 - 10:31 am (re: DF)

Oops. Freudian mispelling.

by Genghis 11/17/2009 - 12:36 pm (re: Nebton)

I was playing with G's spelling.  I'm sure he meant to type "steel."

by DF 11/17/2009 - 1:19 pm (re: Nebton)

Yes, I suppose the Bernie Madoff reference should've made that clear. I'm trying to come up with something clever based off "balls of Stiehl", but I'm getting nothin'.

by Nebton 11/17/2009 - 1:40 pm (re: DF)

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