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Obama and Sex vs. Dalai Lama and The Wall Street Journal: The 8 Fold Path to Unenlightenment

by Larry Jankens 10/5/2009 - 7:43 pm   |

The Dalai Lama is in Washington this week trying to arrange a meeting with President Obama. It's Obama, however, who is acting like the Buddhist master, i.e. he’s doing nothing. The Wall Street Journal, has been quick to decry Obama’s Zen like response to the Lama. Saying that meetings with the Dali Lama are important because they “affirm the religious and democratic freedoms America stands for while setting a precedent for the rest of the world.”

An interesting sentiment supposing that a “free” Tibet would mean Tibet under the religious aristocratic rule of the Dali Lama and his army monk-ninjas. A theocracy is the conceptual opposite to the religious and democratic freedoms America stands for. Obama not meeting with him sets the precedent that the President has better stuff to do than meet with hyper-religious weirdoes who want our help to become dictatorial rulers of their twisted version of utopia. The Lama is barking up the wrong dharma tree as far as I'm concerned.

Granted, I’m biased because I think the Dalai Lama is a bit of an arse. He pretends that he is this easy going guy who just wants to be compassionate to others but he acts like the Pope’s Asian cousin. His popular image may be new age, but he’s stuck in the medieval times.

1) At a 1997 press conference the Dalai Lama said: “Men to men sex and women to women sex is sexual misconduct.”

Jerry Falwell and the Lama agree: being a homo is a no-no.

 

2) An interview with 2001 Swiss magazine he said, “Sexual organs were created for sexual reproduction between the male the element and the female element and anything that deviates from this is not acceptable.”

By this definition you shouldn’t even take a piss!

 

3) In 1999 he endorsed Consistent Life, an anti-abortion lobby group.

Killing is wrong, unless it’s an abortion doctor.

 

4) In a series of religious writings published in 1998 he said, “Masturbation is forbidden.”

And by association, so is the internet.

 

5) In the same religious writings he deemed, “Oral sex and anal sex are not acceptable even between a husband and wife.”

Anyone who likes sodomy and/or bj's and is traveling to Tibet, might wanna rethink their plans.

 

6) Perhaps most disturbingly, he went on to say that “Having sex during the day is sexual misconduct.

Oh, Lama, doesn’t Buddhism let you have any fun with your fun parts?

 

So let’s recap: the Dalai Lama says gay sex, oral sex, anal sex, day sex and abortion are all wrong – is that who you want running a free Tibet? Is this guy we want to pick a fight with China over? He’s a sexaphobe and that's undemocratic and anticapitalist.  I can't say I'm surprised that the rightwing establishment likes him so much, after all they share some of the Lama's ideas of intolerance and small-mindedness.

I've heard from many Chinese here in the US that things weren't as rosy in Tibet prior to their "liberation" as we tend to paint them. I don't particularly care for that "liberation", but I concur with your sentiment that things aren't as black & white as many would like them to be.

As for this coming from the rightwing, that's only because everything Obama does is wrong to them. If he had met with the Lama, that would've been wrong to them, as well. I take the "Free Tibet" movement to be largely a product of a well-meaning, but not necessarily completely educated, left.

by Nebton 10/6/2009 - 10:28 am

Well said Neb, good intentions pave the road to hell:

by Larry Jankens 10/6/2009 - 10:55 am (re: Nebton)

Yeah, life under the Lama caste system wasn't exactly a walk in the park either.  The whole "Free Tibet" movement has made for some good musical events, but I'm not sure it's good for much else.

by DF 10/6/2009 - 12:51 pm (re: Nebton)

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU SAID SH*T ABOUT THE DOLLY LAMA!!!!!!! he is the KEWLEST CUTEST dissonant in the WHOLE WORLD CoolCoolCool!!!!!!!! i love his maroon robe with the yellow part and his retro glasses KICK ASS!!!!! and he's totally friends with lots of super smart famous people who don't give a care what PERVERTS LIKE YOU THINK!!!!!!! also the tibeten people don't have any FREEDOM Sealed and they make pretty clothes Kiss like i have this TOTALLY HOT hemp messenger bag from tibet and the best part is that i got a KEWL bag AND I ALSO helped the tibeten people with their FREEDOM!!!!!!! LaughingLaughingLaughing

my friend evan says that theres some other people in china called ogres that have less freedom than the tibetan people but i'm like who gives a care because they don't have any dolly lama people or kewl messenger bags!!!! and anyway you can't care about everybody all the time!!!!!!!

yo check this sick tee!!!!!

by SarahPalinGrrrrl 10/6/2009 - 12:45 pm

PalinGrrrl is so cute when she gets angry.  She's right though, that is a sick tee - 14 stands for the number of draconian policies the Lama supports. 

by Larry Jankens 10/6/2009 - 1:19 pm (re: SarahPalinGrrrrl)

And what, pray tell, are the 14 draconian ideas?

by Anonymous (not verified) 10/15/2009 - 8:13 pm (re: Larry Jankens)

I'm so glad you asked. Geez I've been waiting for somebody to ask.  It's like pulling teeth sometimes.  Here you go:

1.  No premarital sex

2.  No oral sex

3.  No anal sex

4.  No finger blasting

5.  No gay sex

6.  No morning sex

7.  No day sex

8.  No evening sex

9.  No doggy-style

10.  No cowgirl

11.  Definitely no reverse cowgirl

12.  No masturbation

13.  No daydreaming about tab a and slot b

14.  No fun with your fun parts

by Larry Jankens 10/15/2009 - 10:16 pm (re: Anonymous)

Finger blasting?

No, forget I asked…

by Nebton 10/16/2009 - 9:23 am (re: Larry Jankens)

I was in the National Cathedral in Washington D.C. last wknd. After hearing 2 prominent educators invoke the Dalai Lama at an educators' conference, and much to-do about Obama's refusal to meet with him (and risk our relations with China) in the media, I was shocked to see a full display of Dalai Lama and Tibetan Buddhist books, beads, and bells in the Cathedral bookshop.

 

How have we come to embrace Tibetan Buddhism as America's Buddhism?  How has this somewhat incoherent cleric become the spiritual mentor of credulous academics who should know better than to accept his authority unquestioningly?

 

Its time that someone takes this phenomenon to task.  Ask the straightforward questions about what exactly he stands for, given his contradictory statements of the past and the benighted history of Lamaism in Tibet. Ask who is funding and supporting his elaborate P.R. campaign, book tours, diplomatic inititiatives, etc., and we will discover the same dark forces (CIA) that helped him set up his "government in exile" and which have supported him as a political tool to use against China.

 

After the Catholic Church scandal, its time to put aside our American naivite regarding priests and their agendas.

by Anonymous (not verified) 10/15/2009 - 5:29 pm

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