Dear Denny,

The Chicago Tribune reported today that in these tough economic times you have managed to somehow, against all odds, figured out a way to make sure you were going be okay at the expense of tax payers. Congratulations! You have balls the size of casaba melons (Are those big? I don’t know to be honest, it just sounded right). After being the speaker of house from 2000-2008, cutting taxes for the super rich, helping to deregulate the banking industry to ensure financial collapse, you remember; you are now a top Washington lobbyist is screwing the government and its constituents out of money. Bravo!

In case you couldn’t tell, Denny, I was being sarcastic. I don’t really want to congratulate you. This letter’s actual purpose is to shame you. I thought I’d reel you in with a nice opening paragraph and by the time to got to reading this, you’d figure you might finish because you already read the first two paragraphs.

If you are still reading, my plan worked. Shame on you Denny. You are exploiting a little known perk awarded to each former speaker of the house. This perk allows you to use public funds to establish a working office to “facilitate the administration, settlement and conclusion of matters pertaining to or arising out of” a former speaker’s tenure in the House.

While America is suffering from the worst economic melt down since economic analogies were created, the highest deficit in world history, and millions of people who can’t afford health insurance, you have spent $997,075.97 of taxpayer money to pay a full time staff for over $100k each (health benefits included, duh), $6,300 a month for rent (his landlord is literally a business partner’s son), and $860 a month to lease a new GMC Yukon (I can only assume it has the “gold package”).

You go ahead Denny, people have been out of work for over a year, we are stuck in two wars you helped push – but your comfort is more important to me than the well being of my fellow Americans. In case still couldn’t tell, I was being sarcastic again. I want to make sure that even though this is typed you read into my snarky delivery. One millions dollars is a very small drop in the huge bucket of our budget, I know. There are plenty of other bigger wastes of money that I should be writing people about, I’m sure – but it’s the principle of the matter, Denny. A lot of Americans are hurting right now. And even though a million dollars is not much money to you and you don’t think it’s that big of a deal, it is.

If you are interested in reading a more in depth description of your misdealing you can read about it here.

I have some closing questions before I let you go. It is to my extreme hope that you can fit into your busy day of collecting money that isn't yours to respond to these. Thank you for your time.

1. What the hell is wrong with you?

2. The Republicans claim to be against government waste, how does that work?

3. Having a seat on the CME BOD isn’t enough money for you?

4. What are you spending the money on?

5. Is that personal?

6. Is it a sex thing?

7. Do you have any guilt?

8. Nightmares that you are a horrible person who doesn’t care about the others?

I'm sure I'll hear from you soon, after all, I know you have a plush and luxurious office with state of the art technology that I'm paying for.  You're welcome.

Also enclosed is a photo, please sign it.  I want to show my friends what an asshole you are

.

Truly Yours,

Larry S. Jankens