Now that President Obama's approval ratings are slipping, and the good people of Massachusetts have voted in their first Republican senator in almost forty years, it's time to get real about politics in this country. It's time to take leadership into our own hands.

Brother, I know what you are thinking: "how am I supposed to feed my horse and my wife the next winter when the government wants to spend my money on health care and education?" This is a difficult question, one that needs an easy answer.

My friends, the United States is at a difficult place in its history. More difficult than the Civil War when brother fought brother. More difficult than the Great Depression and its 25 percent unemployment. More difficult than the turbulent 1960s with its hippies, communists and rash of assassinations. More difficult than the years we were tortured with the knowledge that Bill Clinton received oral sex. Ok, maybe not that difficult, but I’m on a roll so bear with me.

BRAZIL – Blogger William K. Wolfrum stared off into the distance, desperately trying to come up with an idea worth writing about. Looking forlorn, he finally gave up the chase and went to bed. It was 3 p.m.

“There’s nothing, just nothing,” said Wolfrum. “Not anymore.”

Before the State of the Union address, I'd like to talk about the central issue of the Obama Presidency, which of course none of the talking heads will really get to. Obama's Presidency will hinge on how he handles the economy. More even than the wars, more than health care, more than the political sclerosis of the Senate, it's the economy. The bad news about that?

Barack Obama hasn't thought about the economy.

The Tea Party, a potent collection of dyspeptic right-wing populist groups, was on the verge of national conquest. Having defeated a Republican candidate in a New York House election and a Democratic candidate in the Massachusetts Senate election, it seemed that there was no stopping this crew of tax-rejecting, socialist-hating, health-care-not-wanting defenders of the Constitution and all that is good in America.

Just kidding.

Overturning decades of case law, the Roberts court has now declared that corporations are human beings, at least in the political arena. The majority ignored precedent, opting instead to side with the wealthy and powerful against the individual citizens of a democracy. Can you hear the outrage of the neo-populist conservatives? Yeah, me neither.

CAVE 11, Pakistan – Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, upset that his most recent video failed spectacularly, has announced plans to “retool” his show.

"Hi, you’ve reached the White House. We’re on furlough today, so please leave a name and number and we promise to get right back to you."

WASHINGTON – Determined to show the world that they’re serious about saving money, today the Obama Administration unleashed dual proposals. The first is to freeze government spending in 2012 and 2013. The second is to furlough all Federal Government employees on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.

While the better part of the United States has tumbled into disarray with the fighting of multiple wars, war crimes, high unemployment and a completely screwed up financial sector, Hollywood has done very little to help out the nation. Sure, they’ve made movies and done some stupid things, but the U.S. is in desperate need of a BIG story to take their short attention spans away from the carnage.

Originally Published in the UK Times Online

A minor incident in a barber’s shop last week has helped me to realize that I may no longer be straight. Not a fully fledged straight guy, anyway; perhaps not even a part-timer who helps the team out when it’s busy. It appears I may be going Gay.

WASHINGTON – Convinced that Max Baucus is still the key to his Presidency, President Barack Obama will forego his role in upcoming State of the Union Address, instead allowing the Senator from Montana give it.

2009 was a frustrating year for liberals and progressives, and 2010 is off to a bad start. After electing the first unapologetically liberal President of the United States in forty years, with large majorities in both the House and Senate, liberals have seen our agenda diluted, stalled, and now seriously set back. It shouldn't have happened. And now, of course, there is rage and confusion and we are circling into our old firing squad. But as I see it, there are only three questions, and they all have simple answers.

Looking to capitalize quickly on the Supreme Court Ruling that allows corporations unlimited financial involvement in elections, McDonalds Corp. has announced it will soon begin a new contest called “You Pick the President.”

WASHINGTON – The White House and Congressional Democrats – aware of building anger in their base – have announced they plan to go forward with a modified Health Care Reform Bill that they feel will certainly make its way to President Barack Obama’s desk.

WASHINGTON – Senate Democrats, chastened by Republican Scott Brown’s Senate victory in Massachusetts, have admitted that they have learned a valuable lesson after seeing their advantage in the senate drop to a paltry 59-41. The lesson? Stop trying to do things.

“This is a wake-up call,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.). “It’s time to slam on the brakes and stop everything. The people have spoken.”

In perhaps the worst decision of all time, the Supreme Court overturned spending limits on campaign contributions from corporations.

The court's 5-4 vote ends a 20-year ban on businesses using money from their own funds to pay for campaign ads.

But US President Barack Obama condemned the decision, pledging to work with Congress for a "forceful response".

Forceful response, huh? I’m not holding my breath.