Michael Wolraich's picture

    Woody Harrelson Invokes Zombie Defense

    After breaking the camera of an aggressive paparazzo who was photographing him with his daughter, Woody Harrelson explained that he mistook the photographer for a zombie:

    "I wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character. With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie."

    With all due respect to Mr. Harrelson, I find his explanation unconvincing. While New York City did suffer from a zombie invasion some years ago, urban gentrification and Giuliani's zombie eradication program and have effectively pushed the zombies out to suburban areas, as Mr. Harrelson surely knows.

    Moreover, were the judges to rule in in Mr. Harrelson's favor, the zombie defense would certainly be abused by other criminals. Shot a police officer? Oops, he looked like a zombie. Ran over your mother-in-law? She was exhibiting zombie-like symptoms. Nationalized a large bank? So sorry, thought it was a zombie bank.

    Comments

    This could easily mutate into other defenses.  Hit and run?  "Hey, I just got done with a marathon session of Grand Theft Auto.  It was pure reflex."

    I do give him points for temerity.


    Hell, I give you points for spelling "temerity."

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