Michael Wolraich's picture

    The Republican Party of Extraordinary Gentlemen

    By Michael Wolraich on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 1:19pm | Politics, Humor & Satire

    The Puppet Master

    Primary power:
    Bending lesser minds to his will

    Secondary power:
    Manipulating intelligence data

    The Fulminator

    Primary power:
    Controls zombie army

    Secondary power:
    Feeds on hate

    The Brain

    Primary power:
    Devious brilliance

    Secondary power:
    Unhindered by conscience

    The Human Newt

    Primary power:
    Unpredictability

    Secondary power:
    Cannot be killed

    The Black Sidekick

    Primary power:
    Buffoonery

    Secondary power:
    Familiar with hip-hop terminology

    Captain War Hero

    Primary power:
    Righteous irritation

    Secondary power:
    Earmark disintegration ray

    Ice Girl

    Primary power:
    Emits patriotic-sounding nonsense

    Secondary power:
    Sentences of unusual structure

    Up-and-Coming Boy

    Primary power:
    Not an old white guy

    Secondary power:
    Dull speech of death

    Dr. No

    Primary power:
    Legislative sabotage

    Secondary power:
    No secondary power

    ?

    Primary power:
    Unknown

    Secondary power:
    Unknown

    Junior

    Primary power:
    Wreaks global destruction

    Secondary power:
    Blessed cloak of invisibility
    Topics: 
    Politics
    Humor & Satire

    Comments

    Surely Mitch deserves better than "?", doesn't he? I mean, he's a Senator for the great state that brought us the Creationist Museum, after al.


    by Nebton on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 3:02pm

    How about

    Pat(?)


    by elliottness on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 3:05pm

    Who's Mitch?


    by Michael Wolraich on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 3:43pm

    One thing has stuck with me from playing the Marvel Superheroes RPG.  I feel like I can quote the guide almost perfectly here:  "let's face it, water-breathing is a wuss superpower."  Years later, it still holds true.  Okay, months later. Okay, weeks.  Okay, put down the d20 guys, I'm trying to concentrate.  Okay, so there are no guys, it's just me and the d20, but he can be loud.  Okay, it's a d6, from my Yahtzee box.  Okay, my mom's Yahtzee.  My point is, could Captain ? be a kind of zombie Aquaman?


    by littleblackprop... on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 5:51am

    He can be anything you want him to be. Tabula rasa. If you see a zombie Aquaman, well that's what he is to you.


    by Michael Wolraich on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 9:29am

    Table-top RGPs are an economical and earth-friendly alternative to video games.  Listen up, youngsters!


    by DF on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 6:27pm

    As are table-top RPGs!


    by acanuck on Fri, 05/01/2009 - 6:43pm

    Was this post in any way inspired by recent news stories about masked vigilantes, a la Watchmen?  Because it bears an uncanny resemblance to the World Super Hero Registry.


    by DF on Wed, 04/29/2009 - 11:22pm

    What about the Ghost of Reagan? Primary Power: To make Republicans' chest puff up with patriotic pride Secondary Power: To make Republicans' forget what Reagan actually did in office and the fact that the much maligned Junior used Reagan's political playbook and much of his cabinet during his presidency.

    by Larry Jankens on Thu, 04/30/2009 - 12:43am

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