WASHINGTON – Angered over repeated accusations that they have no answers or plans, the GOP today announced a new strategic plan to save the Gulf of Mexico from Grace Slick.

“We are the party of today, and tomorrow,” said House Minority Leader John Boehner. “The Grace Slick situation in the Gulf of Mexico is one that we’re ready to handle.”

When informed that Grace Slick was a singer who now lived in Illinois, Republicans, as is their wont, refused to back down, budge or change course.

“Listen, Grace Slick is out there and we’re losing jobs,” said Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal. “Obama has no interest in her, but we Republicans sure do.”

No details of the strategy - known in GOP circles as "Operation Starship" - have been released. Still, Republicans of all flavors are backing the plan.

Rand Paul, a U.S. Senate Candidate from Kentucky, said that Slick and the abuse of oil companies had to stop.

“Everyone from the President on down was so mean to British Petroleum. So, so mean,” said Paul. “Really mean. Ugly mean.”

Reached for comment at her Indiana home, Slick said she hadn’t been in that region of the U.S. for years.

“I’m not sure what’s happening,” said Slick. “God how I wished we would have dosed Nixon with LSD back in the day.”

–WKW

Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles