Ah, the n-word. A charged word. A word you can only use under certain conditions; conditions that have drastically transformed over the years. For instance, in Mark Twain’s Huckleberry Finn, Huckleberry drops the n-bomb like he was the U.S. Air Force flying over Dresden. Nowadays if a white boy from the south drops the n-bomb you better believe he is either reading Huckleberry Finn aloud or he is a racist idiot. The n-word has become more, shall we say, nuanced.

Even if used in context, it is generally inappropriate to use the n-word. If you are black, you can use it if you want as long as Bill Cosby isn’t in the room. If you’re not black and you save a black person’s life you are aloud to drop the n-bomb once and then only in front of the person whose life you saved and in context of telling a racist joke that the use of the n-word makes it funnier.

Over the past few years this line has become increasingly blurry with different variations of the n-word. Some people think that replacing the er ending with an a, makes it more acceptable to use. Leading black experts have poo-pooed this idea citing that the a ending doesn’t magically uncharge the word, however, Bill Cosby will give you a pass if you say it in context of a funny self-righteous stand-up routine. Further, the fact that white suburban kids wearing crooked straight brimmed hats and Volcom belts using the n-word-a with impunity, is a bit insulting.

Which is why I got offended on behalf of black people (you’re welcome) when I got a Facebook message from my friend using yet another variation of the n-word that while different than the original n-word and the n-word-a. The message went as follows: What’s up my nickka sic.? Hit me up!

Similar to the n-word-a, it includes with a ckk sound, pronounced like in the Yidish word challah – almost like you are clearing your throat – instead of the g sound. Not cool.

I think we can agree, unless you are reading Huckleberry Finn or saving a black person’s life, or are yourself black (unlike Harry Reid, I won’t use the other-n-word-ending-in-gro), let’s try to keep the n-word and n-word-esque words to ourselves. While yes, racism is funny (i.e. Richard Pryor, Eddie Murphy, and Dave Chapelle) there are certain things that are best left unsaid.

If there comes a time that the n-word becomes uncharged and people use it social conversation like “It’s as hot as an n-word under a heat lamp,” than I say great – go ahead. I don’t care for political correctness, but using the n-word(s) is just impolite.

N-word.

*At this point I'd like to ask readers who become easily offended by racially based writing (read: people who take things too seriously) to please forget you have just read this and go about your day)