Cheese Bread Jesus

Once again, Jesus Christ has exposed himself to mortals though a tasty snack. This time, his vehicle of choice was toasted cheese bread.

Jesus first started making appearances on starchy foods in 1977, when he imprinted his image on Maria Rubio's burrito tortilla in New Mexico. She built a shrine to honor the tortilla, and thousands flocked to see it. Since then, the faithful have discovered his holy likeness on a fish stick in Ontario, a potato chip in Florida, and a piece of chapati bread in Bangalore. Not to be outdone, Mother Mary appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich in Florida and pizza pan in Texas. She and Jesus later joined forces on a pancake, also in Florida, which seems to be a popular destination for the mother and son. Though she is less prolific, Mother Theresa has also made one notable appearance on a cinnamon bun in Tennessee.

The phenomenon of perceiving significance in random patterns is known as pareidolia. Religious pareidolia is not limited to the Christian faith. Muslims often perceive Arabic script from the Koran in unexpected places, from cuts of beef to satellite photos of the earth. Jewish Talmud scholars search the bible for meaningful numerical patterns. Singaporeans have discovered the mythical Monkey God in the calluses on a tree.

Of course, we can all laugh at the snack worshippers whom few believers take seriously. But I wonder, why is the notion of Jesus appearing on a cheese toast less tenable than God speaking from a burning bush or Jesus speaking into people's hearts? For that matter, what makes it more absurd than any of the miracles described in holy texts? For religious belief is an act of faith, and faith is not constrained by absurdity. To the contrary, doesn't the measure of one's faith correspond to the difficulty of maintaining one's belief? In that case, aren't the cheese toast devotees the most faithful of believers? Perhaps the roadside billboards should proclaim instead: HAVE FAITH IN CHEESES.