William K. Wolfrum's picture

    Baby Jesus molested by Catholic Priest, disappears

    By William K. Wolfrum on Thu, 03/25/2010 - 11:08am | Humor & Satire, World Affairs

    BETHLEHEM (March 24, 0008) – The parents of Jesus Christ – the much ballyhooed Son of God – have accused a Catholic Church Priest of molesting their child, causing him to flee from the area.

    “We really should have known better than to let him hang out with Catholics,” said Mary, mother of Jesus. “They’re just a bunch of predators.”

    While Mary and her husband Joseph have filed complaints, the Catholic Church has already sent the offending Priest to the Diocese of Superior in northern Bethlehem, where he will spend his remaining years working freely with children in parishes and schools.

    “While we feel terrible about the Jesus Christ molestation, the fact is that authorities have yet to arrest anyone,” said Pope Benedict I. “Once again the Catholic Church stands vindicated.”

    For their part, Mary and Joseph stated that they wanted justice, but more importantly wanted to find their 8-year-old son.

    “He left a note stating he won’t be back for 17 or 18 years and that he’s just plain lost,” said Joseph. “I can only hope that 2,000 years from now, pedophile priests are brought to justice, not protected by the Catholic Church.”

    –WKW

    Crossposted at William K. Wolfrum Chronicles


    Topics: 
    Humor & Satire
    World Affairs

    Comments

    Blasphemy: irreverence toward holy personages, religious artifacts, customs, and beliefs.

    The fact that this article hasnt been removed yet is incredible! Even a non-Christian would be offended. If one desires to bash an organized Christian Church, they should do it without bashing Christ Himself by placing Him in a fictional and dishonorable scenerio.

    "Jesus answered him, "If I have spoken wrongly, testify to the wrong; but if I have spoken rightly, why do you strike me?" ~John 18:23


    by Anonymous (not verified) on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 12:07am

    Removed by whom? Is there a government agency charged with removing material from the internet that a person may find offensive? My guess is that they're underfunded and probably have their hands full. Although certainly not in the same way that many Catholic priests appear to have their hands full.   


    by Orlando on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 12:41am

    Let me see. First, Wolfie tells a story that mocks Christian clergy for falling far, far short of Christ's teachings. Christians have been telling stories like that for two thousand years, and telling them well. But then, Christ himself counsels us not to follow the moral example of priests' own conduct. See Matthew 23:23, Luke 11: 42, and if you must Luke 23:10.

    Second, Wolfie tells a story in which Jesus, despite being innocent, is seized and harmed by earthly authority figures whose political power derives from Rome. That story, too, strikes me as deeply familiar: see Matthew 26:36-27:54, Mark 14:32 to 15:47, Luke 22:39-23:49, and John 18:1-19:30.

    Someone has profaned Jesus's name lately, in obscene ways, but it isn't Wolfie.


    by Doctor Cleveland on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 1:37am

    Anonymous, I am a non-Christian.  In fact, I am a non-beliver.  I am not offended by this post.  I can be sensitive to truly offensive things, but this post isn't one of them.  I actually see a nugget of truth in it.  I am reminded of the story where Jesus was supposed to come to dinner at this one person's house and the guy waited and waited.  The only people that showed up were people needing food, clothing, and shelter.  Later, the man finds out that Jesus had, in fact, come to dinner in the form of the weak and needy.  If Jesus can come in the form of the weak, can it not be that Jesus can take the form of children?  Therefore, if Jesus were a child, and the children are molested by an unconcerned Church, is it not reasonable to assume that, in essence, the church is molesting Jesus?


    by Roger Rotge (not verified) on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 2:30am

    I dub this best comment from a newcomer. I hope you hang around, Roger!

    I am also a non-believer, but I can see how this would offend some people. I can see why it would be considered blasphemous. I wouldn't write such a post (I usually tend towards avoiding confrontation), but recognize that WKW is making a point beyond mere blasphemy, and Roger here has demonstrated a clear recognition of that point.


    by Nebton on Fri, 03/26/2010 - 9:30am

    I find this mindly amusing, not because of the subject but because of the content. As an atheist I am constantly amused by the sensitivity of christians when they celebrate the various "special" dates all out of order based on commercial advantages.


    by sinya (not verified) on Tue, 03/30/2010 - 2:52pm

    Latest Comments