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Ramona: Hatred in a Lovely Church
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Hits of the Day
Andy Murray's on a roll
by Donal 10/18/2011 - 10:41 am
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Andy Murray hasn't lost a match since the US Open. He led Great Britain over Hungary in Davis Cup, beat Donald Young to win Bangkok, beat Rafa Nadal to win Tokyo, and just defeated David Ferrer 7-5, 6-4 to win the Shanghai Open - worth 1000 points - and now replaces Roger Federer as World #3.
But it may be part of a plot:
Mrs Podgorny: What is it now?
Angus: An entry form for the British Open Tennis Championships at Wimbledon Toon ... signed and seconded.
Mrs Podgorny: Och, but Angus, ye ken full well that Scots folk dinna know how to play the tennis to save their lives.
Angus: Aye, but I must go though dear, I dinna want to seem ungrateful.
Mrs Podgorny: Ach! Angus, I wilna let you make a fool o'yourself.
Angus: But I must.
Mrs Podgorny: Och, no you'll not ...
Charles: So, everyone in England is being turned into Scotsmen, right?
She: Yes.
Charles: Now, which is the worst tennis-playing nation in the world?
She: Er ... Australia.
Charles: No. Try again.
She: Australia?
Charles: (testily) No... try again but say a different place.
She: Oh, I thought you meant I'd said it badly.
Charles: No, course you didn't say it badly. Now hurry.
She: Er, Czechoslovakia.
Charles: No! Scotland!
She: Of course.
Charles: Now ... now these blancmanges, apart from the one that killed Mrs Podgorny: have all appeared in which London suburb?
She: Finchley?
Charles: No. Wimbledon ... Now do you begin to see the pattern? With what sport is Wimbledon commonly associated?
(She is thinking really hard.)
Norman Hackforth: (off-screen) For viewers at home, the answer is coming up on your screens. Those of you who wish to play it the hard way, stand upside down with your head in a bucket of piranha fish. Here is the question once again.
Charles: With what sport is Wimbledon commonly associated?
(SUPERIMPOSED CAPTION: 'TENNIS')
She: Cricket.
Charles: No.
Charles: No. Wimbledon is most commonly associated with tennis.
She: Of course! Now I see!
Charles: Yes, it all falls into place!
She: The blancmangcs are really Australians trying to get the rights of the pelota rules from the Czech publishers!
Charles: (heavily) No ... not quite ... but, er, just look in here.
(He indicates microscope. As she eagerly bends to look into it he picks up a sock filled with sand and without looking strikes her casually over the head with it. She collapses out of sight under desk. He continues to think out loud.)
Charles: Yes. So these blancmanges, blancmange-shaped creatures come from the planet Skyron in the Galaxy of Andromeda. They order 48,000,000 kilts from a Scottish menswear shop ... turn the population of England into Scotsmen (well known as the worst tennis-playing nation on Earth) thus leaving England empty during Wimbledon fortnight! Empty during Wimbledon fortnight ... what's more the papers are full of reports of blancmanges appearing on tennis courts up and down the country - practising. This can only mean one thing!
(Flash up caption quickly:)
Voice Over and caption on sceeen: 'THEY MEAN TO WIN WIMBLEDON'
Charles: They mean to win Wimbledon! (Jarring chord)
Of course Murray is only a Scot when he loses.
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In the News
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Russia lawmakers advance bill on penalties for protesters
By Sergei L. Loiko, Los Angeles Times, May 23, 2012
MOSCOW — Stiff new penalties aimed at opposition protesters were given preliminary approval Tuesday by Russian lawmakers loyal to President Vladimir Putin, the target of mass rallies and demonstrations before his March election victory.
The bill, which opposition parliament members termed draconian and protested by threatening to file out of a legislative session, calls for fines of up to $50,000 and up to 200 hours of community service for organizers of rallies and demonstrations that grow violent or exceed the approved number of participants.
The sanctions were approved on first reading by parliament's lower house, which is controlled by Putin's United Russia party. They mark a return by the Kremlin to a tough stance against critics after concessions during the recent election campaign [...]
Also see:
Russians back Putin, strong leadership
Washington Post, May 22, 2012A Pew survey of 1,000 Russians found that President Vladimir Putin is well-liked by more than 70 percent of citizens, especially older adults.
Read the article at http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-russia-protesters-20120523,0,7555231.story- Add new comment
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In Cuba, Mystery Shrouds the Fate of an Undersea Internet...
Associated Press, May 21, 2012
HAVANA — It was all sunshine, smiles and celebratory speeches as officials marked the arrival of an undersea fiber-optic cable they promised would end Cuba's Internet isolation and boost web capacity 3,000-fold. Even a retired Fidel Castro had hailed the dawn of a new cyber-age on the island.
More than a year after the February 2011 ceremony on Siboney Beach in eastern Cuba, and 10 months after the system was supposed to have gone online, the government never mentions the cable anymore, and Internet here remains the slowest in the hemisphere. People talk quietly about embezzlement torpedoing the project and the arrest of more than a half-dozen senior telecom officials.
Perhaps most maddening, nobody has explained what happened to the much-ballyhooed $70 million project....
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Domestic violence is biggest threat to west Africa's...
By Tamasin Ford in Monrovia, Guardian.co.uk, May 22, 2012
Husbands, not strangers or men with guns, are now the biggest threat to women in post-conflict west Africa, according to a report by the International Rescue Committee (IRC) released on Tuesday.
The IRC report, Let Me Not Die Before My Time: Domestic Violence in West Africa, based on data collected over 10 years by the IRC in Sierra Leone, Liberia and Ivory Coast, said domestic violence is the "most urgent, pervasive and significant protection issue for women in west Africa" [.....]
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US Army more selective on recruits, re-enlistments
By Lolita C. Baldor, Associated Press, May 22, 2012
WASHINGTON -- Uncle Sam may not want you after all.
In sharp contrast to the peak years of the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, the Army last year took in no recruits with misconduct convictions or drug or alcohol issues, according to internal documents obtained by The Associated Press. And soldiers already serving on active duty now must meet tougher standards to stay on for further tours in uniform.
The Army is also spending hundreds of thousands of dollars less in bonuses to attract recruits or entice soldiers to remain.
It's all part of an effort to slash the size of the active duty Army from about 570,000 at the height of the Iraq war to 490,000 by 2017. The cutbacks began last year, and as of the end of March, the Army was down to less than 558,000 troops.
For a time during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the Army lowered its recruiting standards [....]
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First cargo delivery to the space station by a private...
Nasa's administrator Charles Bolden said: "Today marks the beginning of a new era in exploration... The significance of this day cannot be overstated; a private company has launched a spacecraft to the International Space Station that will attempt to dock there for the first time.
…
The carriage of freight will be the first service to be bought in from external suppliers; the transport of astronauts to and from the station will be the second, later this decade.
Read the article at http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-18154937
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