Dagblog Announces Layoffs, Cutbacks

Beset by news of economic slowdown, unable to secure federal assistance for the first quarter of 2009, and looking to reduce an expected hemmorhage of red ink in 2009, blog-about-stuff Dagblog (NYSE:  dag) announced significant layoffs this morning, at a news conference conducted by the disembodied avatar of Dagblog Chief Technology Officer Genghis. 

"We had hoped to present a plan to the federal government that would justify assisting our blog, or at least our blog's existence," commented Genghis.  "We thought that with an Alexa ranking of 287,931 among all websites, which is basically pretty cool if you think about it, we might be in line for the bailout money that other blogs have profited from.  Secretary Geithner's office having not responded to our request at this point, we think it's time for us to recognize the tough new realities for blogs in 2009, and cut back."

Among the line items expected to be reduced given the absence of federal assistance include lucrative read-based incentive compensation for bloggers (the primary reason Articleman blogs basketball so heavily), large salary lines for new guest bloggers, the use of inherently expensive large fonts (already an issue in the recent "Welcome to Canada" post), the cost of a better video camera for Deadman's video blogging, and even the previously planned Dagblog management summit to be convened in Las Vegas by utilizing a leased, Dagblog-logoed corporate jet.

Dagblog's Articleman lamented the use of government assistance to keep major blogs, such as firedoglake.com, fivethirtyeight.com, and Talking Points Memo solvent, while omitting to fund Dag.  "I understand the administration's point that the U.S. has a much larger population of blogs than, say, Sweden," he said, "which problematizes picking and choosing among them which ones should be capitalized.  Though only a start-up blog, Dagblog is every bit as American as these other blogs, just as cranky, just as idiosyncratic, just as reliant on Wikipedia, and yes, sometimes just as rife with errors in typography and fact-checking.  The bottom line is, for American blogs to flourish, we may need nationalization of all blogs, even if that means the top million or so blogs, as ranked by Alexa, will need short term capitalization." 

Deadman, Dagblog's resident commenter upon financial markets and policy, added this from his new, low-budget radio blog:  "The failure of smaller blogs could cause a cascade of failures that can only make the Internet a more primitive and frightening place than it already is."  Dag's resident econometrician, DF, may have agreed, noting that C prime and Y prime can be divided by X, yielding something that mysteriously causes 200 or so persons to click on the link in which he noted that. 

Dagblog's Orlando, whose internationalized posts may have led to the federal refusal to subsidize Dag, given the "write American" provisions of the blogging bailout legislation, could not be reached for comment. 

Finaly, roaring with anger, Dagblog's Mortimus appeared to agree with the critique of Dagblog's not receiving funding, and, after lapsing into unconsciousness, shrinking, and returning to human form, voiced minutes later the hope that the blogging bailout might lead to nationalization of the Jets, one of the only scenarios in which they might realize parity with the remainder of the NFL:  "Only if my Jets, and indeed all other NFL teams, receive both bailout money and federal management, as for example from a football czar, can we reasonably expect the Jets to compete for the league's best record.  The whole league may be 8-8, but Jets fans will take it."