I missed my plane last weekend. I explained to the ticket agent that a “long sequence of unhappy coincidences” had “conspired” to keep me in San Francisco, but of course the missing of the plane was entirely my own fault. I misremembered the departure time, misjudged the distance to the airport, failed to allow for traffic, missed my exit, and upon arriving at long-term parking, ignorantly attempted to sprint to the airport, a good two miles from the lot, before realizing that I would have to take the shuttle bus. I missed that plane so many different ways that I am in awe of myself. I suppose that if you’re going to miss a plane, you might as well miss it decisively. At least, you thereby avoid the pathetic, sweaty rush through the airport. [Read more]

If you're single, and you want to meet someone, where do you go? People always meet one another at bars, right? Get a little drunk, engage in a little chit-chat with comely strangers, perhaps take one home, at least get some digits. Right? Wrong. I, for one, have never had the courage to converse with strangers. Well, that’s not entirely correct. Once engaged in conversation, I can talk with just about anybody, though I may bore them to distraction. What I cannot do is approach a complete stranger and initiate conversation. As a child, I was deathly afraid to call strangers on the phone and would engage in protracted negotiations with my mother in order to persuade her to make the call for me. [Read more]